Letter to No One
by DemonKittyAngel
Summary: One starry night in Alabasta, Luffy wants to write Sabo about their adventures. Ace doesn't. But, without Sabo, he has to be the nice brother. 'If you read this, somehow from beyond the grave, I want you to know that we miss you. That I want my damn brother back and you're a goddamn idiot for leaving us behind.' Sabo wasn't expecting any mail. Or guilt trips. ASL/Sabo-needs-a-hug
1. Alabasta

_I own nothing but the idea._

 _The first chapter is the weakest as it's just set up. It's all uphill from here._

* * *

"I want to write Sabo a letter."

Ace startles. Dropping his gaze from the glittering blanket of stars over Alabasta to his baby brother, a net of sadness, regret, and self loathing squeezes his heart for just a moment. He couldn't have heard that right.

Luffy turns to him, expression simple yet, serious. "It was his dream to write a book about all the adventures he had so I want to write him about all our adventures. That way, he isn't left out." He gives a small smile, only half its regular size (large on anyone else, almost fragile on his rubber face), and the shadow of loss behind warm hazelnut makes Ace want to strangle someone; probably himself (he wasn't good enough on his own, he can't fix this, if only he had been there) but preferably that damn Tenryuubito.

Ace doesn't think about Sabo often. It always comes with overwhelming waves of agony (Why didn't I just go get him? How could Sabo just be gone?) and anger (Why would he try to leave us behind? How could that Tentryuubito just shoot a child? Why wasn't I there to protect my brother?!)

Staring at Luffy, Ace already knows what his answer will be. Despite his guilt – despite this being the last thing he wants to do – he will always try to do right by his little brother. Without Sabo, he has to be the nice brother now. Without Sabo, Ace has to be strong enough for two people. Without Sabo, Luffy was his sole reason to live.

He thinks briefly of Pops and Marco and _Thatch_ (and the net squeezes because Teach was his responsibility and he'd lost another brother because he's just so _useless_ ) –

He loves them all. He really does. But it's the thought of loosing _Luffy_ , the miraculous ball of sunshine who chose to love him despite all his hatred, unconditionally and unreservedly, that causes Ace to feel as if the world just crumbled out from beneath him.

So even though he doesn't want to, he gives a small nod and straightens up. "Anyone on your crew have spare paper?"

Luffy's smile brightens ten notches and Ace knows he's done the right thing. "Nami should have some."

And with that, Ace heads off to find his brother's greedy navigator and hopes she doesn't take all his money for the few sheets of paper they'll need. After all, they have a lot to tell their lost brother.


	2. Letter

_All spelling and grammatical errors are intentional. Luffy barely knows what he's doing and Ace can write and spell but, his grammar is what it is. He doesn't care that much._

* * *

Hi Sabo!

Its been a long time but I stil miss you. Ace says that your in a beter place so I shud be hapy for you but I stil miss you lots. I wanted to share all my awesome adventures with you! Im a pirate now and have a awesome nakama and -~~_~-~

_~-,_-'~?"{~_/``'\\-_-~~`\\-~-_

Sabo,

Sorry about the mess up there. I managed to teach Luffy how to read but he never got the hang of writing. Luffy says that since you can't have adventures of your own, we should write ours down for you so, here goes.

As agreed, I set out to find my own crew when I was 17. I waited until Luffy's birthday so that he wouldn't be lonely, you know how much he hates to be alone. I got caught in a storm on my second day and washed ashore on Hoto Island. I eventually made my way to Gresh village and that's where I found my first crew mate Zack. He was just a fisher who said that he wanted more adventure and after a bit of convincing we set out on his boat. He'd probably tell you that it was the angry marines I had stolen a map from that got him off the island, but I know he wanted to come.

I got a lot of great crewmates in my time on the grand line. Like Cheyney, my cook. She was hilarious. She'd set all these booby traps around the fridge so I wouldn't steal the food. Of course that didn't work. I've been making booby traps for years. Remember the snare you helped me modify for crocodiles? I got good use out of it when my crew got split up on Gheebu. You see, there were these weird river based warthogs that Luffy would have loved an/''|\\`_~_-~~-

Sorry, Luffy jumped on me. He insists that I tell you how I got my devil fruit.

Well, my crew, the Spade Pirates, got our asses handed to us by the Baltor Pirates and I decided that I needed to be stronger. We were looking for a good place to sell the mera mera no mi since we'd found it in these stone ruins on Makdisi. (You won't find those ruins since Bera destroyed them on our way out. Long story.) I didn't want to lose the ability to swim since I was so used to having to fish Luffy out when he fell in. Although, he had got better about that.

Anyway, I ate the fruit and spent about a day freaking out about being fire and trying not to burn down our ship before we could dock somewhere. Once we finally made it to land, I started experimenting and knew I had the coolest fruit ever. Way better than rubber-~\\_-'~'

Sorry, Luffy jumped on me again. Being fire will always be cooler than being rubber. Everything is cooler than being rubber. But, he makes it work and I'm proud of him. You would be too. He's gotten so strong and he's got good nakama. As expected of our future Pirate King.

Back to the story, we spent a couple months on that island as I figured out my new powers. I don't know how it took Luffy so long. I think he's just stupid, which, he still is.

I honestly don't know what we'd do with a smart Luffy. Could you even imagine it Sabo? Our idiot little brother not needing us to explain that he has a dad or that his birthday and children's day are two separate things even if they're the same day? I really can't. His stupidity, for all the headaches it brings, is part of what makes him so lovable. I hope he'll never change.

[I'll only admit it to you, but I didn't like my powers at first. The first few times my hands burst into flames it was like I was back in Grey Terminal. Fire everywhere, Luffy being threatened by BlueJam, you trapped in High Town. And then the rest of the week would roll in with Dadan severely injured and me having to carry her back. And then Dogra running up to the hideout, telling us that you- Well, yeah. You know all about that.]

So, devil fruit mastered, mostly, we returned to sailing and made a name for ourselves. I got the name Fire First after I blew up a marine ship in one blow. It was amazing. I can only imagine how pissed shitty Gramps must have been. I bet he ranted for days about how his good for nothing grandson had become a notorious pirate. I also happen to know he was proud.

My bounty kept going up over the next year and eventually, I got an invitation to become a Shichibukai. Can you even imagine that? After all the years that Gramps tried turning us into marines and after everything the world nobles had done to you, I'd never even consider their offer. I sent back their message bird with a crispy hand that had it's middle finger up. I'm proud to say they raised my bounty by 50 million for that.

The next big thing was my fight with Jimbei. I may have gotten a bit cocky with my 300 million bounty and decided to go after Whitebeard's head to finally prove I was better than my old man. Yes, I know that was stupid.

Jimbei tried to put an end to my quest but we ended up tying after five days. It was fricken miraculous. I didn't fall asleep even once although we did take some breaks for food and stuff. We became really good friends during that fight.

As I was nearly passed out on that beach, Whitebeard finally appeared asking about who wanted his head. I knew I was outclassed so I set up a wall of fire so that my crew could retreat and got completely smashed as soon as I tried to attack.

I woke up three days later on the Moby Dick and have been there ever since. I spent the first couple of months trying to kill Whitebeard every chance I got but, after the first couple weeks it was more obligi- abligi- fuck. I don't know how to spell that word. Just, it felt like what I should be doing, okay. By the end of it I was really having fun.

I eventually found a home on that ship and became one of his sons. By some stroke of insanity, Pops decided to make me his second division commander. Seriously, outside of Luffy, who is stupid and crazy, who decides to put that much trust in someone who kept trying to kill them?

[Again, just for you because I'll never tell anyone alive, ever. I still can't believe sometimes that I found a father. I told him who my dad was and doesn't care – he says that we're all children of the sea and that I'm his son. You would have loved it on the Moby Dick. Pops would have accepted you too and we could have been co-commanders. Not that I'm mushily wishing you were here, just- it would have been nice.]

Luffy turned 17 and in just 3 months, he's made a complete mess out of everywhere he's been. I'm trying to translate since he's a messy story teller but apparently, he got sucked into a whirlpool, hid in a barrel, got picked up by a mean, ugly, pirate lady, beat her up, and then took her cabin boy to become a marine.

Only Luffy.

Once they got to a marine base, Luffy found his first mate, Zoro, who was apparently a pirate hunter scheduled to be executed. Something about the marine captain being corrupt and his stupid son (Luffy insists that there was a girl with onigiri who was important for some reason) that basically adds up to Luffy destroying the base, gaining a crew member, and actually being saluted by the remaining marines as they set sail. I'm not sure I believe the last part but Luffy keeps saying that's how it happened.

Zoro is apparently the only person on the face of the planet who's sense of direction is worse than Luffy's. I've yet to see it in action, but the rest of his crew says it's true. Not that Luffy's sense of direction is bad, he just can't navigate. He does fine on land. Mostly.

Luffy's next adventure starts with him getting carried off by a bird that he tried to eat and then getting shot by a clown witha cannon. Nami was trying to rob the pirate and decided to blame Luffy who decided she was definitely going to be on his crew. Then he fought a lion, saved a dog, his first mate fought someone on a unicycle (Luffy keeps calling it a unibrow) and then he knocked out the mayor and the town chased him out.

And at some point he beat up the clown who could split himself into pieces and damaged Luffy's hat.

Trust me, this makes more sense than the gibberish he's telling me.

Next, he went to the Baratie, the resterant run by the retired Red-Leg Zeff. I stopped there once and they made me eat outside away from the other customers since I refused to put on a shirt. Shirts are for losers and now that I'm fire, I never have to wear a shirt. Best. Perk. Ever.

Somehow, Luffy was blasted with a cannonball into the Baratie and forced to work as a chore boy. He says he was awesome at it and that the chefs were all fun, noisy people. I take this to mean that he was a disaster and they kept yelling at him for messing up. Whatever, Luffy seems happy.

Don Kreig, that loser with lots of ships but little power who briefly sailed the grand line, showed up, made a mess of things, and Mihawk was there for some reason and both Don Kreig's ships and the Baratie ended up destroyed. Zoro, who's going to be the world's greatest swordsman one day (according to Lu), got his ass handed to him but somehow gained Mihawk's respect. I really want to know how that happened.

Nami stole their ship, Zeff's apprentice/adopted son became Luffy's cook, and there were bounty hunters who helped them chase after Nami. I think they were Zoro's fanboys.

This next one gets to me because of Jimbei. After Fisher Tiger died, Jimbei rose as a Shichibukai but one of his compatriots, Arlong, decided they were better than humans and took over Conomi Island in the East Blue. Nami had been forced into being his navigator as a child and was told that if she gathered enough treasure (Luffy doesn't know or care how much) that her village would be free.

Luffy befriended a baby sea-cow Arlong was keeping and crashed into his stronghold, beat up Arlong, beat up the marine that was taking bribes to leave Arlong alone, and liberated an island. Because Arlong made Nami cry.

Nami charged me 1,000 beli a piece for this paper so you better damn well appreciate this from whatever afterlife you're in. When I told Luffy he said that she was being nice to me. She's the greediest person I've ever met but, I guess old habits die hard and she is one hell of a good navigator. I looked over her maps and they're incredible. Luffy found himself a good crew.

Oh, Luffy forgot someone. Before he went to the Baratie, they ended up in Syrup village and picked up Usopp, their sharp shooter who, according to Luffy, was a pirate with 8,000 men and sailed the sea as a brave warrior. From meeting him and watching him with the rest of the crew, he's a liar and I think Luffy knows that too but his stories are fun and he's not too bad with his slingshot.

On this island they foiled a hypnotist and Pirate Cat who was a Mean Captain Pretending to be a Butler (blame that on Lu) who were planning on slaughtering the village, taking the rich young lady's inheritance, and become pirate king. Luffy didn't like any of that, especially not killing Usopp's lady-friend, and beat them up.

Again, this is what makes sense out of Luffy's random story telling.

His crew went to Lougue Town where the Buggy Clown and Ugly Pirate Lady Who Wasn't Ugly Anymore almost cut off his head off before lighting struck the platform and saved him. (He says that he wanted to see what the Pirate King saw before he died. I'm angry that he wanted to see something like that and horrified that my baby brother almost died the same way and place as that man.)

If I ever meet this Bug-Clown Pirate, I'm going to fry him. No one tries to cut off Luffy's head and gets away with it.

No, I'm not being overprotective. I just know you're laughing at me but you'd be doing the same damn thing.

Next, Luffy got a Reindeer to be his doctor. Chopper is adorable and isn't a mink, he's a reindeer who ate the hito hito no mi and became a human-reindeer hybrid. The short version is that Nami got really sick, Chopper helped her, a weird guy who might have been an evil king that could become things that he ate tried to blow up a castle, and cannons made pink snow. Somehow.

Right now we're in Alabasta. Luffy is with the princess who's trying to stop a coup and I'm hunting down Blackbeard, a traitor from Pops's crew. He killed Thatch, a friend of mine. I even called him my brother.

Everyone on Pops crew does that – we're all one big family. But for me, I've only ever had 2 brothers.

Luffy says that he loves you and he's going to write down all his stories one day so that you can read them. He'll need to find someone who understands him and can actually write because there's no way he can do that by himself.

We miss you Sabo. We're living our lives without regrets as best we can and making sure the world knows our names.

Love, your brothers,

Portgas D. Ace

Monkey D. Luffy

(B.S. I'm not sure that's right, but I think you put something like that if you add something extra. Luffy finally went to bed, beaming like all is right with the world. I'll crawl into bed with him in a bit but first, I have a bone to pick with you.

How could you just leave? How come you didn't try to take us with you? How could you think that I was capable of raising Luffy on my own!? We could barely keep track of him between the two of us!

I didn't know what I was doing! After you were _gone_ I couldn't deal with Luffy being so clingy so I chased him off. He got into a fight with a bear and he almost died. I almost didn't save him. I could see his guts Sabo. His guts. I didn't know what I was doing. You were always the nice brother, the smart brother. If I had been the one that died, you would have known what to do and you could have taken care of Luffy just fine and all I did was fuck up!

You were my first and best friend, my brother, and you just up and left us with a stupid fucking letter! The hell is wrong with you?! You don't get to just decide we'll be fine without you! You don't get to decide that leaving us will keep us safe! Luffy cried for weeks! I didn't know what to do!

We made a grave for you.

Dadan cried.

I cried.

Did you think we were going to just leave you in High Town? Did you think that we wouldn't have gone with you? I don't understand. Were we not good enough brothers?

Fuck. Enough of this mushy crap.

You're dead.

I raised Luffy the best I could and he turned out pretty well. At the very least, he's still the same happy idiot he's always been and I don't ever want that to change.

If you read this, somehow from beyond the grave, I want you to know that we miss you. That I miss you. That I want my damn brother back and you're a goddamn idiot for leaving us behind.)


	3. Sabo

Sabo sat in his new office sorting through the mess of paperwork that came with his new job as Chief of Staff. It was satisfying being the right hand of the man he followed and to be at the forefront of the fight he believed in. Unfortunately, it required looking over a lot of reports rather than making reports after a field mission. Maybe he'd just take Koala and go on a field mission anyway. It's not like Dragon would mind. Although he was being relied upon to sort through the paper work…

Decisions, decisions…

He answered the sharp knock on his door with a quick "Come in." and smiled when Patch swung the door open.

Patch, free of his customary orange jacket, was dressed in loose fitting brown slacks and a white T-shirt, burgundy curls frizzy without his hat. He let out a low whistle. "Pretty sweet office, Mr. Chief of Staff."

Sabo groaned. "Are you people still going on about that? It's a job title; my name is still Sabo."

"Maybe, but you're a big shot now and we're proud of you." Patch reached over Sabo's new, worn-out desk and ruffled his hair. This is why he wore his hat around base as well as during missions; his hair was, quote, 'as soft as cotton candy', and everyone kept trying to touch it.

Sabo batted his friend's hand away before settling back in his chair, legs crossed, and hands elegantly held in his lap. He knew it made him look like the arrogant noble he wasn't and relished in the annoyance of his coworkers. "So, what may I do for you, Mr. Underling?"

Patch scowled and Sabo's grin widened. Ah, revenge. Patch braced one hand on the desk causing a drawn out creak as he made sure to smack a letter on top of Sabo's head. He mentally pouted – that was just downright petty – but outwardly turned curious.

"Don't know who it's from, but it's got your name on it and came in with one of our news coos." Sabo took the letter as Patch leaned back. He examined the back and the front, only finding his name in legible, if messy, handwriting. It felt a bit thick, five, no, six, pieces of paper. "We figured it was one of your contacts who couldn't find a better way to get a hold of you. Since it came by news coo, we figure the sooner you read it the better, in case it's urgent."

"Mmm. Thank you Patch." He responded absent-mindedly. He couldn't recall telling anyone to contact him via news coo although some of his compatriots used that method. Sabo preferred an intermediary or two. The length of this missive also concerned him. If it was important information, any of his contacts could have gotten it to him faster by going up the chain and reports were always sent to 'Jessica', who didn't actually exist. Were one of his contacts compromised? One of his agents? (And yes, they were _his_ agents now.)

Pulling on his leather gloves, he pulled open the flat, wax seal and frowned at the friendly letter.

The first part was in childish chicken scratch that contained multiple spelling errors and the letters got bigger or smaller at random before a series of black scribbles where, apparently the pen had been fought over before someone else took over.

Why was this child trying to tell him about being a pirate? And 'in a beter place' is what you say about someone who's dead. Sabo's heart clenched, as it always did when he thought he might be remembering something but this time, it refused to be pushed away. This kid, whoever they were, sounded like they _missed_ him. Like he was _loved_ and _remembered fondly_ and Sabo was torn between reading ravenously and throwing it away.

His eyes were already devouring the first paragraph before he consciously decided that he _had to know_.

Whoever these people were, they definitely thought he was dead (and something deep in his heart twisted and cried in agony) and knew that he had always wanted adventure. (Something Sabo thought had been true but, now had confirmed.)

The name Luffy was familiar, but only in passing. Since the kid had apparently just started, Sabo assumed he was one of the rookies he'd heard about and pressed on. Mention of a crocodile snare that Sabo had helped this person build made him ache with want to know what he was talking about. This fond tone could only be a good memory but Sabo had no idea what this person was reminiscing.

And then the name jumped out at him. Spade Pirates. That couldn't be right. That would mean that this was written by Whitebeard's second division commander and there was no was they'd known each other as children.

But there it was. Spade Pirates. Mere Mera no Mi. Fire Fist.

"Holy shit." Sabo didn't even realize he'd spoken out loud because, _holy shit_ , he was childhood friends with Portgas D. Ace and some rookie named Luffy.

The side discussion of rubber not being cool felt familiar in an overly vague way that frustrated Sabo. Out of all the times that he _wanted_ to remember…

And then the words came. 'Our idiot little brother…'

Brother. He had a brother. Two brothers. Kids he considered his own brothers who thought he was dead and he couldn't remember and wrote him a letter (that was probably never supposed to be read) and wanted to tell him stories about all their adventures because they thought he couldn't have adventures of his own.

Oh God, he needed to remember. He never noticed that his eyes had teared up or that his fingers were clenched bone white, just barely avoiding ripping the precious, precious letter, or Patch worriedly calling his name before yelling down the hall that something was wrong, or that he was haunched over, wild eyes drinking in every link to his past that he'd avoided for years.

Ace, Portgas D. Ace, his brother Ace, put in a side note that tickled his memories in all the _wrong_ ways and showed a vulnerability that seemed out of place in a cursory knowledge of the man and made his stomach twist uncomfortably in a vague remembrance that cohabited with a warm flicker in his heart. Out of all the people in the world that Ace would show his feelings to, would show a softer side, it was him, _Sabo_ , his _brother_.

But the rest left a bad taste. Fire. Grey Terminal. Bluejam. High Town. Someone named Dogra having bad news. Sabo desperately wanted to scream out that he _didn't know_! What was the bad news!? But in the back of his mind, he knew exactly what it was.

Pushing aside his mixed emotions, (and Sabo could never remember even being _half_ so mixed up in his life), he read on. Shitty Gramps? Something in his hindbrain perked up in alarm but with no connection, it didn't mean much.

The story about the Shichibukai invitation was classic. Why didn't more people know about this? Oh right, the world government might look bad. Something deep in Sabo's heart told him that this was the obvious Ace reaction and that same part warmed at someone flipping off the world government specifically on his behalf.

He read over the fight with Jimbei and Whitebeard mostly with indifference. Something about the way Ace wrote about his old man made it seem important but, nothing raised a flag in his mind so he ignored it. He cracked a sliver of a smile over Ace trying to spell obligatory. It was a bit surprising that he even knew that word.

Sabo absently wondered if he'd taught it to Ace.

The casual implication of trying to kill Luffy made him frown in concern. Sabo had been only ten when the revolutionary army had taken him in and while he didn't know if Ace was referring to himself (and something told him he was), Luffy, being the little brother, had to be at least nine or younger when that happened. The attempted murder of a child…

Sabo dismissed it because Luffy was obviously fine and Ace was doting on him (and that was a thought he'd have to laugh at later). Not to mention, Ace had written another aside.

It was about his father, again, and Sabo was really wishing he could remember what the big deal about that was because it didn't resonate with Sabo - like it didn't even matter even though it mattered to Ace. A spike of guilt stabbed into his heart because he just _couldn't remember_ something that his brother so obviously cared about.

He sped through the (mis)adventures of his little brother (Sabo had a little brother!), each as ridiculous as the last. If this was the version that made sense, Sabo was sincerely thankful that Ace had taken over writing for Luffy.

Luffy's hat, strangely enough, also felt important. Odd.

Mihawk respecting Luffy's first mate? His navigator being so talented she was singled out as a child? The apprentice of Red-Leg Zeff? Somehow, Sabo felt like he needed to apologize for leaving Ace alone with this kid. He only felt worried by proxy hearing about all of this. What must things have been like before Luffy could look out for himself?

The sharp shooter story was confusing. Then the thought of Luffy, his precious baby brother who he couldn't remember, possibly being beheaded before they could ever reunite, had Sabo's heart skipping a beat in irrational terror. If he had missed this, had never had the chance that he does now to find his brothers –

No, Sabo would not laugh at Ace. For all he knew, Sabo might be even more overprotective. After all, he had ten years to make up for. If he could only, just, _fucking_ , _remember_!

The Reindeer story made the least sense although the reindeer himself was explained well, somehow. He was surprised it wasn't just a mystery reason (and something tickled in the back of his neck at that).

Sabo knew that the Whitebeards considered themselves a family. For Ace to say that even though that was his home, that only Luffy and Sabo were truly his brothers, a sob tried to strangle it's way out of his throat. How could he have forgotten this? How could he not remember a brother who wishes he was a Whitebeard commander beside him and write a long letter about adventures to a brother long thought dead? How could he have wanted to _avoid_ remembering people who loved him so deeply?

 _Damnit_! Remember! _Remember! Remember!_

Love. Luffy _loves_ him. Both of them _miss_ him. They're living life without regrets _in his honor_.

Fuck. He was the worst brother ever. He stared at the signatures. The first, bigger and a little fancier than the rest of the letter and the latter, big and enthusiastic – Sabo could only imagine it being written with a huge grin.

Portgas D. Ace

Monkey D. Luffy

His brothers.

He spared a brief thought for the name Monkey D. Did Dragon have a kid? Was Sabo sworn brothers with his father figure's son? He'd put that thought aside for later.

The last piece of paper was long and made Sabo hate himself more than anything else in his life.

The B.S. was funny and fit Ace perfectly (perfect teasing material as well), but the rest…

He didn't have answers for Ace. He didn't know why he made the choices he did. He could only assume it was what he thought best but, if he met his brothers, what could he possibly say?

And raising Luffy? Didn't they have any sort of caretaker? Sabo knew that he hated his parents. That's the one thing he's always known about his past without the slightest doubt. His parents were nobles and not in a million years could he imagine Ace being a noble of any sort. Luffy's poor literacy ruled him out as well.

Did that mean he hadn't lived with his parents all the time? Had he run away and lived with these boys in that Grey Terminal place that was mentioned? Ace said there was a fire. It would fit and his heart was gripped by terror and longing at the thought of his brothers trapped in a fire without him being able to help.

Children raising children and Sabo had dropped out of being a parent. What kind of scum was he?

When Ace wrote the word… gone, it was like it had physically pained him. It was slanted, spaced away, smaller than the rest of his print as if he could deny it.

And then Luffy. Oh God, little Luffy, who couldn't defend himself pitted against a bear. The way that Ace underlined guts just made Sabo want to puke in disgust at himself. This was his fault. If hadn't done whatever he had done, his brothers wouldn't think he was dead and Luffy wouldn't have almost died and he should have tried to remember years ago!

The nice brother. The smart brother. Ace's first and best friend. A piece of shit like Sabo was held in such high regard. Leaving was supposed to keep them safe, somehow, and instead he'd fucked everything up and lost his memory to boot.

The three single lines got progressively smaller. They'd made him a grave built on love and grief. Dadan had cried. (Sabo didn't know who that was but everything implied that was something that just didn't happen.)

The last line was written so small Sabo had to pull the paper closer to read it clearly.

Ace had cried. Fire Fist Ace, who struck Sabo as a fierce person even as a child, had _cried_ , had _admitted_ to crying, over _Sabo_. Even if only in a letter to a dead child, Ace admitted that he cried.

Would they have left him in High Town? After all this, he was sure they wouldn't. He didn't even ask them to come with him? Had he run away from his brothers instead of towards them this time? Were they not good enough brothers? Sabo's heart felt like it was being crushed. Never, never- how could Ace even think such a thing? (Had Sabo thought such a thing… ?)

He hated himself even more.

You're dead.

The line floored Sabo and in that moment, he wished he was.

Ace had raised Luffy, no thanks to Sabo, and had done so from the ages of ten to seventeen. Actually, since Luffy had just turned seventeen and Sabo and Ace were twenty, that meant that Luffy had been only _seven_ when he'd lost Sabo. Somehow, he could still feel worse.

And at the end of all this, despite all the accusations and pain spilled out on paper, all Ace had to say was that he wanted his brother back.

Tears finally broke free and splattered the page of accusations with Sabo's distress.

This. All of this. He'd missed out on all of this just because he didn't want to remember his shitty parents. What do you know? They'd ruined his life even after he'd run away. Twice.

But no. This was truly Sabo's fault. His fault because he'd tried to leave without his brothers. His fault because he'd done everything he could _not_ to remember. His fault because his brothers still missed him and thought of him and Sabo _didn't even want to know_.

"Sabo!" Koala's angry voice finally broke through the haze in his mind. How long had she been calling for him? It must have been a while to have her this mad. He tilted his head up slightly in acknowledgement, not ready to face anything outside of the horrible truth in front of him. "What's going on Sabo? What information has you this upset?!"

She's trying to be gentle but the unspoken 'You never get upset' says a lot about her own panic. That's true. Sabo is the logical one, the one who thinks things through, the _smart_ one…

He chokes a little and his fingers tighten further around the precious link to his past. He slowly moves the accusations to the back and looks over Luffy's enthusiastic mess of a hello. He's still loved. He's still missed.

He doesn't know how to feel.

"Sabo!" Koala calls sharply and he realizes he was getting lost in thought again.

"Koala, I–" his voice is strangled and unintelligible. He forces a deep breath into his protesting lungs and tries again. "Koala," it's a choked whisper, but comprehensible this time. "I, I have brothers."

"What?" It's surprised, and floored, because really; what the _hell_ is Sabo talking about?

"This letter, it…" he chokes back a sob and tries to think of what to say. He prides himself on being articulate – right now, he doesn't have anything to spare towards being annoyed about it. "It's from my brothers. They think I'm dead and this… it reached me by accident, or coincidence, or some cosmic force but Koala…" He looks up at her through shaggy bang and dripping eyes, "I have brothers who love me so much they wrote a letter to a kid who they've mourned for ten years."

She stares at him, evaluating him for any sign of deception, before approaching him and taking hold of the letter. He feels the gentle tug and tightens his fingers before slowly releasing it. This is Koala and if anyone can make sense of this, it's her.

Sabo knows it's real. He _knows_ it. The past is tantalizing, right before his fingertips and if he could just reach a little _further_ …

Koala is frowning. Analyzing every word, every phrase… Sabo has it practically memorized already; _seered_ into his mind – too important to forget.

She finishes the last page and looks him in the eye. "Your brother is a jerk."

Sabo laughs because yes, Ace is a jerk, but he's also a boy who never quite healed after losing his brother. Leave it to Koala to defend Sabo first and tear the rest of it apart after. But she'd called Ace his brother, she believed it, and nothing could have made him feel more relieved than Koala's reaffirmation that this wasn't a prank (not that he'd ever thought it was) and that he had brothers who missed him.

"So what do you want to do?" she asked.

Huh. What did Sabo want to do? He wanted to see them of course but, should he try to remember more first? Should he finally travel back to Dawn Island and see if it would spark any memories? Should he chase his brothers down and apologize for not knowing them? Should he do research? For the first time in years, Sabo didn't know what to do.

"C'mon you big baby. You're going to bed. Men never know how to deal with emotional baggage and I can barely stand you _without_ a breakdown." She tugs him up and drapes his arm over her shoulder, her harsh words belied by her gentle grip. Koala the Worry Wart – not that he wants to get punched right now, thank you very much.

"Thanks Koala." He mumbles and accepts her escort to his room. He can see people crowded in the hall outside of his door and knows that this gossip will be all over the base in an hour. Maybe less. There's never been anything about Sabo's past before and it comes right after his promotion.

This mess is clearly his brothers' fault.

* * *

 _To clarify, Sabo does_ _not_ _remember but his memory has been jogged and he_ _wants_ _to remember. Desperately._

 _Koala didn't try to touch him because he's highly dangerous and his first reaction will be to attack. Able to handle him or not, it's a lot better to get his attention. Especially since he's emotionally distressed and Koala has never seen him like this before._

 _How did the letter get there? Luffy grabbed a random news coo that was flying over head. Also, I picture his story telling as a series of loosely grouped facts._

 _I'm_ Might _write a continuation of this. It honestly struck me out of the blue and I wrote this all in about six hours. I was possessed. I have a vague idea of Sabo tracking Ace down (since they're already keeping tabs on Blackbeard) and then dragging him off to go get Luffy at Sabaody (because that's where his path of destruction is headed)._

 _So, up for adoption? Or maybe I'll just leave this as a threeshot 'What if…' kind of thing. We'll see._

 _Let me know if you're interested. The only thing I insist is you can't have Sabo meet Luffy before he has Brook. You don't mess with how Luffy gathered his Nakama._

 _Review! Please review! Love it, hate it, questions - I adore all reviews. They keep me inspired (online and irl) and give me warm fuzzies to know that you're taken the time to share your thoughts. ^.^_

 _Thank you all for reading you beautiful people!_


	4. Dawn Island

Sabo never expected memories to be this painful. Physically. The emotional part he had braced himself for. He knew that his childhood was no patch of sunshine and roses, what with the whole, 'please don't send me back to my parents, that's the only thing I actually know' deal he had going on. Denial was a deep pit to dig himself out of.

After the letter, it was like the dam in his head had sprung leaks. He remembered stuffy lessons with tutors, rummaging through a trash heap, beating up giant animals with a pipe, and the unbridled joy he'd felt with his brothers. Sabo didn't know he was even capable of being that happy.

But that didn't excuse the headache. Every night – and some random moments during the day – he found himself clutching his temples in agony because his memories couldn't simply flow in and let him adjust. No, they had to drive themselves into his head with the force of one of Koala's kicks. When she was pissed. Every. Single. Time.

Or at least that was his best comparison until he remembered his first 'Fist of Love'. When he'd told Koala of the horrifying old man who had tormented him and his brothers in the name of 'training', she'd been sympathetic right up until he'd called the man Shitty Gramps and then she'd hit him over the head (only half-heartedly, but with enough force that an oak desk would have easily shattered – he'd seen her do it). Clearly, she did not appreciate the terror of Shitty Gramps. Something told him that he should know Shitty Gramps from somewhere else but the image just wouldn't clear up.

Frustrating. That was the other word that defined his life right now. He could remember a chalkboard with scores from practice battles and cold nights spent holding a pipe close, ready to defend the ramshackle 'room' composed of a sturdy desk, discarded roofing, and a torn sail acting as a door that barely buffered the frigid wind. He remembered joint thefts with a young Portgas D. Ace and later, a ray of sunshine that made Sabo less cynical and Ace less hurt.

And that was a hard thought to come to terms with; from both sides. The part of himself that was a grown man and a soldier of the revolutionary army said that Ace was a hot-headed, strong, willful pirate who didn't take shit from anyone and had a generally friendly disposition. The part of himself that was a child said that Ace was an angry little boy who had a death wish, never listened to anyone, and literally _could not_ _believe_ that people actually wanted him to live even though Sabo just wanted him to _listen_ to them already.

Ah yes, _them_. The monstrous trio. Three wild little boys who'd found each other through trash and jungle. These were the memories he looked forwards to. If he'd had a batch of memories involving his brothers (Sabo had brothers!), he'd walk into breakfast with a smile forcing its way through his grimace of pain and excitedly tell his small crew everything he could piece together.

Currently, Sabo was on a sabbatical to East Blue. When he told Dragon about the letter, he'd been granted two months to piece his life back together. Sabo had asked only one question about the possible relation between his father figure and his sworn brother: 'Is it because Luffy cried?' Dragon had simply seated himself behind his desk before looking out the window.

They'd be arriving at Dawn Island today and the prospect filled Sabo with both dread and excitement. Among his memories were brief flashes of trying to put out a fire before searing pain. He knew his ship had been blown up but, he'd never before considered the small mercy that was not remembering the event.

On the other hand, he couldn't wait to trek through the forest and search out the tree house he'd considered home. His hope was that he'd run into someone who could tell him more. Maybe he'd find something important enough to slot the rest of his memories into place. Maybe he'd find the answer to some of Ace's questions because truly, that was what had sent him to Dawn first before finding his brother. He felt like showing up without those answers – or at least having searched for them – was beyond insulting. He owed his brother that much.

A knock came on his door. "Hey, Sabo, we can see the island."

His blood thrummed with excitement as he opened the door with a wide grin. "Thank you Koala."

"It's no problem. Besides, your little vacation is nice. Boring, but nice." She offered a small grin but Sabo could make out the shadow of doubt behind her eyes. Would Sabo leave once he remembers? He'd said he wouldn't and he meant it but, neither of them knew for sure.

Emerging on deck, Sabo surveyed the lush greenery and the port village of Fuusha far to the left. That was where they'd dock and where his search would begin. He spotted a cliff, far in the distance behind Fuusha, and something tickled in the back of his brain. That'd be his first stop.

Fuusha was a small, friendly village and while the people greeted them with a side eye of suspicion, the dock master gave them a fair price and wished them well. Sabo didn't feel like he had spent much time there and made straight for the woods with only Koala and Patch coming ashore with him while Irma, Bret, and Gorigio resupplied. It was a lot of people to take on a selfish mission but Dragon had said that he shouldn't make this journey alone which was a resounding order from the soft spoken man. Koala proceeded to commandeer a ship and skeleton crew just two days after the letter arrived.

Had Sabo mentioned how indispensible she was? She and Hack – his best friends in the world. The devil on his shoulder asked if he was just replacing his brothers. Sabo promptly told it to shut up because those were two separate issues.

The trek through the forest was meandering at first. Nothing seemed familiar until they finally reached an incline to the cliff. It didn't feel quite right – like he normally approached it from a different angle – but the fluttering excitement in his heart urged him on. He jogged onto the rich, green outcropping and stared out at the clear ocean, memory shining as clear as day.

" _Ace, Luffy…_ _ **We have to make it out to sea some day! We'll leave this country behind and gain our freedom!**_ _I want to see the world in all its glory and write a book about all the things I find! If it's sailing I'm studying for, I don't care how hard I have to work!_ _ **We've got to get stronger and become real pirates!**_ _"_

 _Ace smiles at him, a genuine, cheerful smile – one so rare before Luffy - and marches to the edge of the cliff. "I don't need you to tell me that._ _ **I'm gonna become a pirate, beat every last person who stands in my way, and earn myself the kind of glory that dreams are made of! Only then will my life have been worth living!**_ _I don't care if the whole world refuses to accept me! They can hate me all they like!_ _ **I'll become a great pirate and prove I'm better than them all!**_

" _I won't run from anybody! I'll never lose! I don't care if they end up terrified of me!_ _ **I'm gonna make sure the whole world knows my name!**_ _"_

 _Sabo can feel his smile stretching his face too far and feels proud of his best friend's goals. He's been accepted. His friends don't care that he was born a noble – they want freedom just like he does!_

 _Luffy lets out a gleeful 'shishishi'. "All right! Well then…" He takes Ace's place at the front of the cliff and stretches both arms towards the sky._ _ **"I'M GONNA BE KING OF THE PIRATES!"**_

 _Sabo and Ace just stare in disbelief before letting out a synchronized "Huh?"_

 _Ace looks at Luffy like he's an idiot – which he is – before saying dryly, "Of all the things you could come up with…"_

 _Luffy is laughing gleefully and Sabo is nearly doubled over in hysterics. Luffy, Pirate King. He sets himself off harder. "Man, you're crazy!" He finally forces out. "You're one to keep an eye on, that's for sure."_

 _As he finally catches his breath, Ace declares that he has an idea and tells him and Luffy to meet him at the training ground._

Sabo could feel the grin stretching his face. This, this was what he was missing. This made everything worth it, including the throbbing in his skull. The friendship and pure joy that he'd felt with these boys was worth all the pain and uncertainty.

Koala was staring at him, probably wondering what he'd seen when he was spaced out, while Patch respectfully gazed into the distance. Sabo didn't bother explaining anything as he called out an exuberant, "Come on!" and dashed off into the forest. He knew this route. He knew these trees, these paths, this bridge; which spots held which animals. Or at least, used to hold which animals. A tiger lord crossed his path and he promptly pulled the pipe off his back and cracked its head open. He laughed in pure glee at the familiar motion but didn't stop running until he approached the clearing.

A solemnity surrounded Sabo as he slowly approached the tree line. This was where it all started: their bond as brothers, their training to be pirates – their oath to always be there for each other. But Sabo had broken that, hadn't he?

He entered the clearing, overlaying the stump on the right hand side with three boys cheering over red sake cups and arguing over who would be captain. The chalk board 20 feet to its left had a weather worn tarp over it, black fabric tattered and missing at the bottom left corner. He walked over to it, slowly raising it to reveal familiar handwriting. "Our old score board…" He absently started talking aloud, knowing his two friends are listening attentively. "We used to spar here, over and over again. 100 matches per person, per day. We put a cap on it because Ace and I felt bad about smacking Luffy into the dirt any more than that…" He ghosts his fingers over the final score of 25 to 25. They'd protected his handwriting, all these years…

Sabo let the tarp fall back into place and made his way over to the stump. "This, this is where we swore brotherhood. Ace stole some of Dadan's best sake and we all got drunk because we didn't know anything about alcohol tolerance or alcohol poisoning." He snickered. "It tasted awful but Luffy insisted. 'If sharing sake makes us brothers, than sharing the whole bottle will make us stronger brothers!' God, he was such an idiot."

A moment passed before Patch asked, "Who's Dadan?"

Sabo shakes his head. "I don't remember. But I'm pretty sure she was a worthless old bag." He smiled widely causing both of his friends to give him a look.

"I am one hundred percent sure you're not supposed to sound cheerful when you say something like that." Koala deadpanned.

A memory flashed behind his eyes and he responded subconsciously. "But that's exactly how I said it to her face." His broad grin met her distasteful glare. They've all gotten used to this in the past couple of weeks. Every now and then, Sabo would subconsciously say something without context and not be able to explain it.

"It's official. You were a lost cause from the start." Koala relented before looking around the clearing some more. Sabo truly had the best friends.

He set off again at a leisurely pace, letting his feet carry them as they will. A few minutes later, Patch posed a question. "So, what's up with the giant tiger? That was grand line sized. Isn't the East Blue the safest of the four oceans?"

"Mm. It is. Goa Kingdom is unique for being the most beautiful kingdom in all the Four Blues and harboring the most dangerous jungle in East Blue. It's an anomaly but I grew up here. The three of us used to hunt all our meals. And that tiger back there? That was only mid-sized. Makes for a nice snack." Sabo explained. He knew their thoughts about his appetite and puts two-and-two together himself. No wonder he ate so much. Running around beating up giant animals all the time only to eat them would've required a lot of energy and the high metabolism he'd gained as a child must have stuck with him. Irma, he knew, could eat one small meal a day and have all the fuel she needed. Two meals were preferable but Sabo always marveled at the efficiency of her digestive system.

"So this was your childhood? Sparring and hunting giant animals?" Koala asked.

Sabo searched his brain, because he knew there was more, Dadan and Shitty Gramps for example, but nothing concrete. Frustrating. He never noticed as his feet subtly changed direction. "No, there was more. But this was the best part of it." He gave a wistful smile. "I know that I spent a long time living in the trash heap, Grey Terminal. If I had to guess, I was about ten when I moved into the jungle and had spent several years on my own."

"Ok, I know you've told us before," Patch piped up, "but you were a noble who ran away to live in a trash heap because you hated them so much. And you were, what, six? Seven?"

Sabo searches his mind but responds unconsciously. "Five and a half." Huh. That was new information.

"Right. Five and a half. Sabo, have I ever told you that even outside of life and death situation, where you laugh at stunts that could have killed you, that you're a weird, crazy bastard? Because I want you to know that you are."

Sabo laughs while Koala scowls vocally. "I've been telling everyone that for years but nooo… they think it's just on field assignments."

Patch splutters and repeats his point. "But _five_ , Koala, _five_! What kind of five year old noble decides he'd rather live in a trash heap?!"

"One who'd rather starve than be a commodity." Sabo came to a stop at that statement because _wow_ , that information was really new and left a lot of unanswered questions.

"Commodity?" Koala questioned.

Sabo shook his head. He didn't know so he just started walking again. They remained in silence until Sabo stopped at the base of small cliff with massive tree roots dangling off it. Something compelled Sabo to climb and his friends followed him.

It was about forty feet up and he ducked under a couple massive roots leaving Koala and Patch behind until he stopped in front of a defunct rabbit hole. There was a piece of detached bark wedged into the front and when he peeled it back, he was taken aback at the reflections of dappled sunlight. "Treasure…" There were gold coins, beli, jewels, chains- all the classic markers of treasure and on top of it, a note in familiar, childish scrawl.

 _Sabo_

 _I used my treshur to buy a boat and Ace used his treshur too. Ace said I shud take the rest with me to start my pirate adventure but, it was your and Ace's treshur first so this is your's. Don't tel Ace. He'll be mad I wasted monee._

 _Luffy_

The spelling was atrocious and letters crossed each other with random size arrangements and Sabo had never seen anything more beautiful in his life. His adorable, sweet, beautiful, kind, wonderful idiot of a little brother left treasure behind because that treasure should have been Sabo's. He was going to hug Luffy and never let go. Ever. Ace had him for ten years. He was Sabo's little brother now and Ace could suck a donkey's dick.

Ah yes, one of the best things Sabo had accessed was a thesaurus of descriptive and inappropriate language. The first time he'd absentmindedly told Patch to 'find a way to stick your own dick up your ass because no one would touch your putrid flesh for a million beli' was rather disquieting. Normally, he worded things politely with just the right amount of mockery to infuriate people but that… that had been different. He also knew a variety of curses not appropriate for any age but found he preferred creativity.

This though… Sabo held the letter to his chest and tried not to cry. Fuck. His baby brother was just so… And Sabo had left him alone… All this treasure, just left here in loving memory… He choked back a sob.

"Sabo! What did you find down there?" Koala called.

Right. He'd have time to gush about the best little brother ever later. He took a deep breath and centered himself. "I found treasure. We had a pirate fund and Luffy left everything he didn't need to buy a ship for me. Hold on a minute." He grabbed a couple handfuls of treasure, carefully folding the note into the breast pocket above his heart and replaced the bark. This should be enough to cover all their travel expenses and spare valuable Revolutionary resources. He'd come back later for the rest.

Patch let out a low whistle when he showed them the treasure. "Your brother must have a complex or something." He quickly raised his hands in front of his chest in surrender, realizing how that sounded. "I'm not saying he should have forgotten you or anything but, after ten years, people generally move on."

Sabo automatically shook his head. "You don't understand. Ace and I were all he had. We raised him." And huh, that was strange but somehow it felt right, true; like there was no one else who could possibly replace their role in Luffy's life. He really wished he had more context though because all he had was a heart breaking flash of a heavily bandaged Luffy desperately yelling, 'I have no one else to rely on!'

"So, after you left, Ace raised Luffy by himself? He must be a pretty polite kid." Koala postulated.

Sabo burst into laughter. "Ace? Polite?" He laughed harder before abruptly stopping. Fire Fist Ace had a reputation for being extraordinarily polite for a pirate. It was a well known fact even among the marines that Ace had manners. Hell, the guy was known for bowing and thanking people for the food at the end of a dine-n-dash.

But deep down, the thought of Ace being polite was unthinkable. He knew the words please and thank you but getting him to use them? You'd have an easier time brushing a crocodile's teeth.

And yet reality contradicted memory. He frowned intensely. When did Ace learn manners? Why? Sabo had a strong suspicion that he may have done it specifically so he could set a good example for Luffy (which was hilarious for its own reasons) and that it was a job that would have fallen to Sabo if he had been there. He had missed out and Ace had had to step up. Guilt crept into his heart again but he shook it off. He'd make up for all of it. As much as he could with his duties, at least.

Still, "The Ace I knew was never polite. He was every bit the angry at the world, need to prove himself brat you'd expect to turn into a blood thirsty pirate. But Luffy changed things. Just by being there, he changed Ace. He changed me. For the better. I bet- No, I'm sure. Ace learned manners to teach Luffy because I wasn't there to do it."

Silenced pressed between them. The solemnity of what Sabo had missed and the fact that he was serious about raising a kid left them all feeling slightly awkward.

Patch finally couldn't take it anymore. Hours of silence on a stakeout? Sure. Five minutes of feeling awkward? Time for humor. "So, you and Ace split up duties just like real parents, huh? Does that make you the mom if it was your job to tell them to behave?"

Sabo lit up and swung his pipe at Patch's chest at Admiral Kizaru speeds. Patch moved far enough to make the blow glancing but he still went flying through several trees.

Koala looked from the path of destruction and back to him. "You know that reaction just means it's true and that this will never die, right?"

Sabo stayed in his lowered stance, pipe perfectly balanced in front of him at the end of his swing. "I've noticed that." His voice is clipped.

"Good." Koala beams and Sabo braces for impact. "I wouldn't want our resident 'mom' to start grounding people for naughty language. Or not saying 'thank you'. Or," she gasped in mock horror. "what if someone forgets to make their bed in the morning!"

Sabo's shoulders sagged as he straightened up and Patch returned through shattered tree trunks. And he thought being called 'Chief of Staff' was annoying. This? This was never going to die. It would haunt him the rest of his life. Unless…

"You know Ace was way worse, right? He'd go berserk if Luffy so much as got a splinter? He'd always yell at Lu and call him a cry-baby but he was such a softy. One time, Luffy got himself swallowed whole by a crocodile and Ace beat the thing bloody and wouldn't stop panicking until Luffy started laughing about what a fun adventure it was. Then he was angry." It was one of the full memories he had and one Sabo treasured. That seemed like the perfect summation of his and his brothers' adventures as a kid. And if he was throwing Ace under the cart, well, he could deal with it. Sabo was _not_ putting up with anymore teasing than he already got. "If anything, Ace is the mom and I'm the dad. I was the level headed one who was content to let Luffy make mistakes while Ace was completely over-protective."

"You sound like you're over compensating." Patch chuckled.

Sabo scowled. "I'm not. I just can't stand people getting it wrong. And in any case, we're brothers. Sure, Ace and I were raising Luffy, but we're sworn brothers. And that bond is my greatest treasure." The last statement brings a familiar tingle of something he's sure he's said before but can't place. Damn amnesia. Damn his own stubbornness.

"We get it, we get it." Koala waved him off. "You're just a helpless brocon, nothing more."

Sabo pouted. "If you had Luffy for a brother, you'd be a brocon too." It's the only defense he can mount, brimming with truth.

"Whatever you say, Chief of Staff." Ah, the return of the stuffy title. How Sabo had missed it.

He released a soft breath of relief and turned back to the forest. He knew judgment would be reserved until they met up with Ace and Sabo prayed that Ace had become the overprotective mama bear he'd exaggerated him into. They walked for about a half hour, crossing paths with a giant bear and a couple wolves that stood at Sabo's shoulder that were promptly scared off. When they entered the shelter of a huge tree, Sabo looked up and broke into a nostalgic smile. "Home."

Sabo climbed twenty feet up sturdy bark before reaching the rope ladder. The wooden boards were weathered and the fifth one broke on his way up. Well, at least that happened after Luffy left. The scene inside made something clench tight in his chest. It was covered in dust – coated in the way of abandoned buildings. He walked over to the tiny blankets (had they really been that small?) seeing three small boys with their heads together making ridiculous boasts of what they'd accomplish when they were pirates.

He searched along the wall and found the familiar net with three sake cups, red on the outside and black inside. A drawing was pinned next to it of the three of them standing on a defeated bear, crude stick figures differentiated by hats or lack thereof. He climbed out the far left window, bypassing the ladder for sturdy branches and swung his way into the crow's nest. The view was breathtaking. Facing south, he could see Fuusha village and the windmills dotting the farms past that and to the north, Sabo could make out the glittering walls of Goa kingdom and… a dark pile of rubble that could only be Grey Terminal. He'd visit there next.

Looking up at the worn down ASL pirate flag, Sabo gradually looked west to the open ocean and remembered, so clearly, the feeling of hope and adventure – the promise of freedom beyond this island. And he remembered Luffy talking about how much he wanted a spyglass so he could see even farther. "Aagh!" Sabo fell to his knees, clutching his head as a spyglass falls from his hand. He hears the glass break and his brothers' pleas but he keeps walking. He has to.

"Sabo!" Koala called out and he was brought back to reality. Koala was kneeling next to him, crowding the small perch that had been perfect for three children.

"Sorry. I just…" Sabo had made the choice to walk away. He didn't understand why, but he recognized that he had been in Grey Teminal. "I'm fine Koala. Just… I think I remember why I was in High Town instead of with my brothers. Kinda. Sorta." Koala waited next to him as he gathered the threads of his life and tried to form a picture.

He started up again, quiet. "Koala… I don't know why, but I walked away from them. In the letter, Ace talks about leaving me in High Town. I didn't want to go… didn't want to leave them, but I did and they were going to get me back. But I think I was protecting them." Sabo remembered the oppressive weight that pressed down on him with every step away from his brothers. "I don't know what happened, but I know our next stop. It's time to visit Grey Terminal." He looked north and felt dread.

Jumping down from the tree, Sabo glanced back up and noticed the half-finished repairs. Oh yeah, there had been a storm…

He shook it off and started walking. It took about an hour to reach the base of Mt. Corbo and walk through a level section of woods which Sabo subconsciously recognized as Midway Forest. He paused for a moment before veering right. There was an old spot that seemed both content and uneasy and Sabo would take any excuse to delay going to Grey Terminal. He was sure Koala and Patch had noticed him changing direction but neither questioned it.

Another fifteen minutes in Sabo stopped in front of a particular tree. He remembered fondly hauling stolen cash into a hollow branch further up yet, that wasn't the memory that rolled in.

" _So this is the Luffy guy you were telling me about…" Sabo mutters, arms crossed and glare out in full._

 _Ace stood with his hands on his hips, glaring disdainfully at the small child tied to a tree. "So you finally came all the way here and you did it by using a path even a human couldn't walk through."_

 _Sabo side eyes his friend. This kid had followed Ace here, right? Was he calling himself inhuman? Whatever. There were more important issues than his best friend's messed up self image._

" _Hey, are you a friend of Ace? Let's be friends!" The boy addresses him._

 _Sabo snaps an automatic "Shut up." and absently wonders if this kid has a screw loose. He addresses Ace. "And this is the reason I told you to come live here with me. That so called 'Mountain Path Training' sure bit you in the ass." Sabo turns his attention back to the kid. "What do we do?"_

" _He knows our secret… if we leave him, he'll tell someone." They stare down at the still grinning fool in front of them. "…let's kill him."_

" _Agreed." And really, to Sabo, it's the obvious answer. He grew up in Grey Terminal – he'd seen enough dead bodies among the garbage heaps and once, he'd watched someone get stabbed and left for dead. Sabo had been seven and never checked if the guy made it. Dead men tell no tales and their treasure was more important than some brat's life._

" _WHAAAAATT!?" Comes the predicted response, louder than expected._

 _Sabo jumps forward, slamming the kids chin up, bashing his head into the tree and locking his jaw shut. They can't afford to have anyone find this place – that was the whole problem to start with! "Shut up you idiot!"_

" _I DIDN'T THINK YOU GUYS WERE GOING TO KILL ME!" Shit! How the hell could this kid still be this loud through a clenched jaw!? Scratch that, how was he moving his jaw?!_

" _Sabo, do it!" Ace commands._

 _He shoots back upwards gaping in disbelief. "What are you talking about!? You do it!"_

" _I've never killed a person!" Ace shouts back, indignant._

" _Same here! I don't know how to do it!" Because watching a possible murder and knowing how people die is not the same as doing it yourself. Sabo has become a thief, a mugger, and a street rat. But murderer? No thanks._

" _HEEEELP!" The brat screams._

" _SHUT IT!" The response from the older boys is instinctual and in synch._

" _Hey! I heard voices from over there- Children's voices!" is heard from the direction of Grey Terminal. Ace and Sabo look towards the new voice in surprise and fear before turning back to the kid they had planned on killing._

" _Crap, someone is coming."_

" _Quick! We have to take the ropes off him! We have to get away from here or they'll find our treasure!" Ace proclaims as he starts doing just that. Ace gets the knot free and Sabo yanks to rope, wrapping it around from his palm to behind his elbow tightly._

 _They hear footsteps too close for comfort and drag the boy into some bushes beside them._

" _Damn, that guy was a trader for Bluejam… I got some dangerous cash…" Ace whispers._

 _Sabo, living in Grey Terminal, recognizes the giant man leading the others. "That's Porchemy! He has a real sword!" he hisses at Ace. "Have you heard of him!? He's crazy! He skins the heads of his opponents!" Ace drops his jaw in horror, realizing just how much shit he's gotten them in, before staring in disbelief behind Sabo where, he finds out, the little kid no longer is._

" _Let go of me, damn you!" The kid is held way off the ground, looking absolutely miniscule in Porchemy's grip and flailing wildly._

' _Why did he go to the enemies!?' Sabo can feel Ace sharing the same thought beside him._

" _Help me Ace!" the kid screams and both of them hit the deck._

" _He said my name!" Ace hisses. Sabo doesn't bother to respond._

" _Did you say Ace?" Porchemy asks and shit! This is exactly what they wanted to avoid! "Do you know him?"_

" _Yeah! He's my friend!" Comes the cheerful response. "Oh, but he did try to kill me just now…" 'Oh'!? That's all he has to say about it!? And what part of that made the kid think they were friends!?_

" _Damnit, he just keeps talking…" Ace mutters tensely._

" _I'm going to ask you one thing. Today, he took our money and ran away. Do you know where it is?" Porchemy asks._

" _No! They'll find our treasure!" Sabo nearly growls._

" _That idiot better not say a word…" Ace threatens. Sabo finds it redundant as the kid is in far more danger with Porchemy than Ace._

 _The kid awkwardly puckers his lips out and looks to the side. "I- I don't know… where it is." He lets out a small whistle that comes out in incomplete busts – obviously not a mastered skill. Sabo can't believe anyone is that bad at lying._

" _Heh." Porchemy sounds amused. "You leave me no choice then. I'll make you tell me. Don't worry…"_

" _Hey! What are you doing!? LET GO! WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME!?" The kid's yells fade off into the distance as Sabo and Ace stare in shock and horror. That kid was going to give in in no time!_

 _As soon as they can't hear the kid shouting anymore, they dash up to the stash and begin cramming treasure into an intact cardboard box they used for easy transport. "Hurry, hurry!" Sabo shouts. "If Porchemy and his men get here, It'll be all over!"_

 _Ace growls. "It's only a matter of time before that idiot Luffy breaks his silence! We need to move the treasure elsewhere! If they make it here, everything we've saved up over the last five years will be stolen!"_

 _Mentally cursing Luffy, the two leave with a full box and brimming pockets as they search for somewhere to stash their treasure. Sabo keeps his pipe out, ready to defend his best friend and their treasure if they cross any of Mt. Corbo's huge animals. Ace leads him deeper than he's ever been in the forest and after nearly forty minutes of running, they pause at the base of a small cliff._

" _Up there! It's hard to get to and there's a whole bunch of roots you can climb through!" Sabo agrees and Ace climbs it one handedly while Sabo scurries ahead to find a good place to put it. Sticking his pipe into an old rabbit hole and finding nothing, he points it out to his best friend and they start piling in their treasure._

 _The return trip goes just as quickly with Sabo making a twenty minute detour to Grey Terminal to find another box. They end up passing each other back and forth, grateful every time they get back to the old tree with no sign of Bluejam's men._

 _Finally, Sabo comes back to find no treasure left and smiles in relief. They did it. They protected their treasure from Bluejam. Wandering off into Grey Terminal, Sabo overhears two men lamenting about how the child had finally stopped screaming. 'The poor kid. Porchemy is really going at it.'_

 _It hits Sabo like being stomped on by a tiger lord that the kid hasn't cracked. He looks for the sun, eyes widening in shock at how late it's gotten. He can't- This kid… !_

 _Sabo clenches his fists before dashing back to Mt. Corbo. They can't do this! That stupid, cheerful kid who said they were friends even as they threatened his life still hadn't cracked! They can't leave him to die!_

 _He crushes the part of himself that had felt relieved that Porchemy would do the deed for them. He can feel guilty later. Right now, they need to save that kid! "ACE!"_

 _The reply is friendly. "Sabo! How'd it go? Did they come searching for the money yet?"_

" _Haa… haa… No, they didn't! There's no way in hell they would now!" He scrambles for breath. He'd made the forty minute run in a thirty minute sprint. "Luffy, that son of a bitch, HE STILL HASN'T CRACKED YET!" He can make out the dumbfounded expression on his friend's face and knows that the message got through._

 _That kid they had planned to kill, the one to left to get tortured,_ hadn't given them up _._

 _Without a word, they run pell mell towards Pirate's Inlet. Sabo estimates they'll get there in forty minutes. He just hopes they're not too late! It's been hours already! They'd started moving treasure before noon and the sun was going down. What was that? Six, seven hours of torture? And it would take the better part of an hour to get back!_

 _Sabo remembers how his parents would tell him that everyone living in the trash heap were trash. He hadn't believed them and living among them, it was like he'd finally met real people instead of the brainwashed, scripted dolls he'd been trappd among. But now, if he can't save this kid,_ this _is what trash feels like._

 _Grey Terminal comes into view and Sabo almost, almost, relaxes. It's too soon though. Pirate's Inlet is another ten minutes away even at this speed and it's been more than an hour since he overheard those men talking about Luffy_ not screaming anymore _._

 _He pushes harder and Ace matches pace beside him._

 _Finally,_ finally _, the upside down ship that Porchemy claimed as his own comes into view with a muffled yell of "ANSWER ME!" on the edge of their hearing. They're not too late! The kid is alive! "Stupid brat! You think you're grown up because you can protect some fucking secret!?"_

 _Closer. They can make out hoarse cries, all that's left of that loudmouth's voice. "I won't say..! I won't saaayy!" It chokes into a sob._

" _Then die!"_

 _THUNK CRASH. Sabo and Ace bust through the damaged, dried out hull with a single thought in mind. "STOOOOOOOOP!"_

 _The pirates are screaming, pointing at Ace, but all Sabo has eyes for is the tiny, mangled body suspended from the ceiling that has just burst into tears. "AAACCEE!" There's a pool of blood beneath him. Do five-year-olds even have that much blood? Sabo doesn't know how old the kid is but he's so small. He's sniveling, jean shorts died red, and holding this unwavering faith after all these hours that of course Ace would come save him._

 _That's fine. The kid only just met Sabo so it's fine that he calls for Ace. After this, Sabo will never let this happen again. He didn't know such selfless people existed but now that he's found him, Sabo will protect this kid. No matter what._

 _Ace charges Porchemy so Sabo follows an old strategy circling around. Porchemy goes down for a moment so Sabo grabs a knife off one of his lackeys and cuts down the battered child hanging from the ceiling. He groans as he's thrown over Sabo's shoulder. "Let's run, Ace!"_

" _Go ahead of me!"_

 _Oh for the love of- of all times for his friend's stubborn streak to rear its viperous head, this has to be the worst! "YOU IDIOT!"_

" _Once I face an enemy, I never run!" Ace vows._

" _Stop! He has a sword!_ _ **He's different from the punks in town**_ _!" But his friend won't listen. He looks between the child they're here to rescue and his idiotic best friend and tears himself apart before deciding, despite his vow of minutes earlier, that losing Ace would be worse than losing the kid. "Damnit!" He drops Luffy a bit heavily, earning a muffled yelp. "Sorry kid, I have to save my idiotic best friend."_

 _He launches himself into the fray, dodging left as Ace goes right, up when he goes down. Ducking, swinging, kicking – bolstering each other in well practiced harmony. Sabo isn't even sure how they manage but finally, Porchemy lies on the ground and the grunts surrender. Sabo shoulders the kid again and they walk off, exhausted, into the forest._

Sabo came back to himself, braced on his hands and knees in front of the very tree they'd tied Luffy to when they'd started this whole mess. Messy tears dripped into patchy grass as his fingers ground themselves into the dirt. "We're… the worst. We- we-"

It couldn't be true. It just couldn't. He knew, with every inch of his soul, that he adored Luffy and that Ace felt the same. This couldn't… this couldn't be how they met. How could Sabo have done such a thing?

"Sabo?" Koala placed a hand on his shoulder. "What did you see? What did you do?"

And Sabo had to say. Had to deny it. Couldn't deny it. It was- "I- We left Luffy. We- we left Luffy, and hoped that he would die." He threw his head back to the sky in anguish. "We left Luffy to be tortured!" He ground the palms of his hands into his eyes. Maybe if he pushed hard enough, he could unsee all of it. "Koala *hic* The first time I met Luffy… *hic* I thought he had to… die. *ugh* And then we- we left him. To pay for our crimes." Sabo took heaving, silent gasps to force air into his lungs. He had to finish this. He had to. "Koala, he- He was so small. So bloody. *agh* Hanging from that ceiling… *hic* We al- almost lost him- before we ever had him!"

And with that, Sabo let out a blood curdling scream and fell unconscious.

* * *

.

.

 _._

… _before you all get mad, I have my reasons. In canon, Sabo's memories all come back because it was traumatic to know that his brother was dead. As he's wandering around getting new pieces of his past, he's desperate to visit anything that isn't Grey Terminal because he knows that's where he lost his brothers. Then he remembered Porchemy and that trauma, especially revisited in stark detail while adoring the little boy they abandoned, finally pushes Sabo over the edge._

 _Also, I found it fun to write Sabo's thoughts during the incident. ^^ Luffy really is all the innocence and sunshine in the world for those two._

 _Now: Please review if you'd like to see Sabo wake up and be a cheerful asshole to his concerned and confused coworkers!_

 _*Shameless begging* Review! Please! It keeps me invested in a story and tells me what you want to see more of! Did I make an interesting retelling of the Porchemy incident at least? (I see a lot of just spelling out the manga.) Does everyone feel in character? (I can't help but see Koala and Sabo snarking at each other.) And finally: who's the mom, Ace or Sabo?_


	5. Familiar Faces

_Overall, it's been agreed that Ace is the mom. (Thank you so much reviewers!) There's a couple votes that they're both moms and a couple 'they're brothers, not parents'._

 _My own stance on this is that it's a mix. Ace is the mom but at the core, they're brothers who don't really know what they're doing. I love the idea of Ace and Sabo just full on being his parents as much as they're able, though. I have another fic (not posted yet) that has more of that._

 _Enjoy this feel good fic while it lasts. It's not my mo._ ^.^

* * *

Sabo groaned as he sat up, hand at his temple as was usual these days. Except, this time was different. He remembered. Everything. A wry smile curled his lips. Man, he'd been a wild child. They were not going to believe all the mugging and thefts he'd done as a kid. And the time with the crocodiles! He knew exactly what Ace was talking about now!

And Luffy. Sweet, wonderful, kind, loving, llittle Luffy. He never even wanted to consider what life would have been like if they hadn't saved him from Porchemy. Neither he nor Ace would have grown into the people they were today. Ace's bounty poster had him smiling. If it weren't for Luffy, Sabo was sure it would be the same 'I hate everyone in the world' glare that had been his resting expression for years. And Sabo, well, he probably would have set out alongside Ace in a slightly friendly/fairly antagonistic race to be the best.

Whitebeard saw his whole crew as family, right? He could see it now:

Ace: You want me to be your son?

Whitebeard: Yes. You look like you need a home and I want you on my crew.

Ace: Go fuck yourself. I've never had a family and I don't need a family. *leaves*

Actually, he was really curious about how that happened.

Sabo swung his feet out of bed with a small chuckle. Yeah, that seemed about right. Thoughts of the present swam into his head and Sabo smiled with just a touch of sadism. Ace had gone from spending years as the big brother to being a little brother; maybe even the youngest of Whitebeard's crew. He could only imagine how much they doted on him just to drive him up the wall.

"Sabo, you're awake…" Koala sleepily drew her head up from the desk. "I'm so glad." She wiped away a tear and Sabo smiled gently in return.

"Sorry. Was I out long?" he chirped brightly.

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say as Koala swiftly stood to tower over him. "Do you have any idea how worried we were!? You just stood there crying before dropping to your knees and wailing about leaving Luffy to be tortured and collapsing! You've been out for two days." The last part is quiet and every part is laced with worry and care.

Sabo reaches out and takes a clenched fist between his hands. "Thank you Koala. I'm fine. In fact, I remember everything." His grin was broad and cheerful.

She searched his face, trying to see if he was lying (a daunting task considering the nature of their work), and eventually nodded in assent. "I'm assuming your head still hurts?"

"Like Gramps just punched me." He beamed.

Koala deadpanned. "You are going to start explaining these things. Your grandfather, the insults, leaving Luffy to be tortured and killed: to my knowledge, doting big brothers generally don't do that."

Sabo stands up and starts grabbing things for a quick shower. "Don't worry about it– that's just how we met. I have so many stories to tell you! The hunting, the dine-n-dashing, the muggings…" he stared wistfully into the distance for a moment, fresh shirt half out of his pack, releasing a happy sigh. "Those were the good old days…"

"… You seriously think you can brush off a panic attack that put you in a two day coma and just talk about how fun it was to mug people?"

"Yes." He did his best impression of Luffy's big, bright 'Of course that's how it is!' smile.

His best friend was clearly unamused. "You're a menace to sanity." She huffs and turns to leave.

"Koala?" She paused without looking back. "Thank you for watching over me. I promise, I'll tell you everything." She nodded and closed the door behind her, no doubt going to tell the others that he was finally awake.

The galley collectively breathed a sigh of relief when he walked in. He felt a little bad for worrying them but it paled in comparison to his unbridled joy at having his memories back. "Good morning." He tipped his hat.

Patch greeted him. "Morning." His face added 'you insufferably cheerful bastard who has no respect for anyone'. Sabo's grin widened. Koala must have told him about his good mood. Oh, how he loved doing this. His childhood insults were fun, yes, but there was something so much more satisfying in being perfectly polite and pissing off everyone around him.

Irma, with her moderate curves and eggplant ponytail, stood up and examined him too closely. He let her, knowing her ways. Irma was the youngest on this voyage at sixteen and had her own ideas about personal space: as long as you weren't touching, it wasn't personal space.

Eventually, she looked him fiercely in the eyes. "You better be fine or the next time you try to break your brain, I'll break your face." Done with her evaluation, she sat down and continued lunch. Irma was a girl who marched to her own rhythm and she didn't say anything she couldn't and _wouldn't_ follow through on. Sabo knew he was better than her in a fight, but her stealth was something to be feared.

He smiled warmly at her special brand of concern. "Of course, Irma." Why couldn't Koala be like this? It was always violence first and then 'Are you ok?' Oh well, Koala was more fun to rile up.

"So, you gonna explain why you dramatically passed out after screaming that you're the worst brother ever and sending these two into a panic?" Gorigio gestured to Koala and Patch with his fork. He was the biggest member of this crew at 8'2" with wide shoulders, thick coffee dreadlocks and a saber on his waist.

Yeah, that had happened, hadn't it? Sabo smiled fondly as he took his place beside Irma. "Ah… the short version is that it was the first time I met Luffy and he'd followed Ace to where we stashed our treasure. Ace had stolen from Bluejam, the local pirate, and Luffy got captured while we hid. Ace and I ran off to hide our treasure elsewhere – up that cliff – and it wasn't until I was walking through Grey Terminal that evening that I heard Luffy still hadn't cracked so I got Ace and we rescued him."

"…And that's how you became brothers?" Koala deadpanned.

"No, no, that's how we became friends. I'll tell you guys all about it. In the meantime," Sabo inhaled a light snack (enough for a regular meal) and bounced back up. "I have people to visit."

Bret, the navigator, raised a bushy brown eyebrow in disbelief, bald head gleaming. "You fall into a two day coma, wake up cheerful, and want to go prancing back into the forest?"

"Yu-pah!" He popped the p extra loudly for effect.

"You're the boss." He shrugged and went back to his sandwich. "By the way, we picked up the rest of the treasure while you were out."

Sabo clapped his hands in excitement. "Excellent. So, who's coming with me?" Koala stood up with her best 'I hate you so much right now but I'm too happy that you're ok to actually punch you' expression while Patch just sighed and cleared his dishes. "Don't look so glum; we're going to a bar."

"A bar?" Koala asked.

"Mm. More specifically, we're going to see the bar maid." He turned back to the deck and proceeded to Party's Bar. He'd never been there himself but the cozy building was easy to find and fit Makino perfectly. It wasn't open, but Sabo let himself in through the unlocked door anyway.

"I'm sorry, sir. I won't be open for another hour." She greeted, green hair tucked into a red bandana and wearing an orange button down with a green flowing skirt that reached her knees.

"Pardon the intrusion, Makino-nee-san. I was hoping you'd have time for an old friend." His smile held a trace of nervousness. This was Makino, the kindest woman he knew. But still, coming back from the dead was a lot to take in.

Makino stopped sweeping and evaluated him calmly. Her breath hitched when her gaze settled on his signature hat. She leaned the broom up against a table and slowly walked closer. "It… can't be. Sabo?" She looked him straight in the eyes, no staring at his burn scar and he loved her all the more for it.

He nodded. "It's me."

She gently brushed his curls away from his scar and took in his face carefully. "You've grown so tall…" She smiled up at him, just like she used to when bringing them new clothes, warming Sabo's heart with acceptance. He absently remembered to tease Ace over his first crush when he saw him. "Do your brothers know you're alive? They were very upset when they lost you." She scolded.

Makino: unshakable and taking everything in stride. No wonder she was a match for Shanks. Sabo winced though. "Ah, no. Not yet. I had amnesia and only recently got my memories back. I decided to visit here first."

Makino nodded. "I see. Well you better see them soon." She scolded. "They missed you very much and I won't stand for them to be in pain a day longer than they have to."

"Yes Makino."

"Good. Now how long are you staying?" She stepped back and reclaimed her broom.

"We'll leave in the morning. Tracking down Ace is going to take a while and Luffy has been popping up all over the place." He took a seat at one of the tables, Koala and Patch slowly following his lead.

"Okay. I'll close the bar tonight and you and your friends can tell me all about what you've been up to."

Sabo agreed, not mentioning the classified nature of their work and that they'd be leaving a large portion out. Koala however felt the need to clarify. "Wait, that's it? 'You're alive. Go see your brothers.' ?"

Makino smiled warmly at the young woman. "Of course. The important part is that he's here. We'll have time tonight to discuss where he's been. It's clear he's doing well, especially with such good friends beside him."

Koala simply stares at the barmaid for a minute before side-eyeing Sabo. "How did you have _her_ for a role model and end up such a little shit?"

"Well, Makino didn't raise me, she just visited." He turned a wide smile on Makino. "We're going to see Dadan next. Can I get some of your best sake?"

"Absolutely. Dadan has missed you very much. She's been lonely since Luffy left a few months ago. But don't tell her I told you that." Makino circled around the bar and ducked into the back room, returning with a huge cask. She met his dubious stare head on, placing the barrel of sake in front of him. "I mean it, she really did consider you her own and mourned your loss. Be nice."

"That worthless old bag?" Sabo kept his eyes on the cask, not sure if he should feel touched or slightly grossed out. He pasted a smile on his face and looked up at Makino. "I make no promises." She took it as a confirmation and the two chatted for a half hour exchanging small anecdotes of Makino's visits to Dadan's, mostly for Patch and Koala's benefit.

When they reentered the forest, Sabo had to find his way back to the bluff before he could locate Dadan's compound, not familiar with the forest outside of Fuusha. There were two unfamiliar huts in front of the compound labeled Ace's Country and Luffy's Country; Sabo was sure there was an interesting story behind those. He paused and took a deep breath before knocking. For all that Dadan was a worthless old bag and the three of them had run off to live alone, she was the closest thing Ace and Sabo had ever had to a mother, Makino taking that role for Luffy.

"Who is it!? Who dares disturb the powerful Dadan family!?" Several bandits crowded out the door, arms at the ready. Sabo gave a pleasant, close lipped grin. The standoff lasted only a few seconds before Magra started stumbling backwards. "B- Boss! You have to get out here! There's a ghost!"

"What!? There's no such thing as ghosts, Magra. What are you blabbering on about?" Curly Dadan emerged from the too small doorway, ax at the ready.

Magra pointed sharply. "It's- It's Sabo! Something must have happened to Ace and Luffy and he's come back from the dead to haunt us!"

"Have you lost your mind!? Sabo died years ago. There's no way… that…" Dadan stared blankly for a moment before shouting. "There's a ghost!"

"Hello you worthless old bag."

"Learn some manners you shitty brat!" Dadan yelled down at him. Just like the good old days. Catching herself, Dadan backed away and held her ax defensively in front of her. "Whatever happened to Ace and Luffy isn't my responsibility! Those brats ran off to be pirates and I will not be held accountable!"

Sabo's smile turned fond. "I'm not a ghost Dadan and I'm not here for revenge."

"Impossible." Dogra stepped forward with a haunted expression. "I saw it. I saw your ship blow up. You were trying to put out the first fire and never saw the second shot coming. You died, Sabo." It's said so simply, so straight forward, that Sabo can't stop the guilt from sinking into his heart.

"I'm sorry Dogra." He'd known his brothers thought he was dead, he hadn't thought of how they must have heard the news. For Dogra to have seen it himself… "Yes, my ship was blown up, but I was saved by Dragon, Luffy's dad. I lost my memory– I didn't know anything except that I wanted to be as far away from my parents as possible. I forgot you, I forgot Makino…" Sabo looked down in shame. "I forgot Ace and Luffy."

He could feel Dadan's judgmental stare boring into him and kept his head down, bracing for her verdict.

He did not expect to be crushed to an ample frame with bawling cries in his ears. He gave a token struggle because this was really weird but at the same time, it was nice to see that she cared. Still… "Koala! Patch! Dadan's gone mad! Get this old hag off of me!"

"Who are you calling an old hag, you shitty brat!? First Garp drops Ace on me, then Luffy, and then you show up one morning! We're mountain bandits, not a daycare!" she's still holding him but her crying is calming down almost as quickly as it came on.

Sabo patted her awkwardly on her broad shoulder then gently pushed back to be let down. Dadan caring is nice, Dadan hugging is terrifying. "Let go you worthless old bag, you'll infect me with something."

He was promptly released, Dadan turning around to fix her face while Sabo wiped himself off. Eww.

Dadan cleared her throat. "So what are you doing back here, brat? You're brothers already left."

"I know." Sabo smiled. He gestured Patch forward and took the sake they'd bought off Makino. "Here, a peace offering."

She glared at the barrel and then at his shit eating grin. "You haven't changed you rotten, good-for-nothing, mooch." She took the barrel, passing it off to Magra who ran it back to their stores. "So now that you're alive, I suppose you're off to find your trouble making brothers?" Sabo nods. "Does your grandfather know about this?"

Sabo pales. "Y- you… you wouldn't tell him… w- would you?"

Dadan raises an eyebrow. "I wouldn't contact that old man if it were the end of the world. No, I'm going to have Makino do it." Sabo looks at her in despair. "It's what you get for dying on us, brat."

Sabo dropped to his knees, hands clasped in front of him, making useless, desperate pleas. "I'll get you more sake! I'll hunt dinner for everyone! I won't steal sake on my way out! I'm begging you: just don't tell Shitty Gramps where I am!" Dadan leveled him with an unimpressed stare. Knowing a lost battle when he saw one, he sighed, rising to his feet. "Can you at least give me a head start? I'm worse than a pirate in the eyes of the government and I don't need the marines chasing me down until after I find my brothers."

"I'll give you the head start only if you bring back dinner." Sabo smiled brilliantly at the compromise causing Dadan to huff and head back to the house. "Just get lost you shitty brat, I don't do reunions."

Sabo turned back to the woods. "Yeah… I know you don't. I'll be back with dinner in a couple hours. I can't stay though, Makino already said she'd close down the bar tonight." Receiving a noncommittal grunt, Sabo made a split second decision as he marched into the trees. "Thanks you worthless old bag, for everything!" She burst into tears again and he could hear Magra consoling her.

"That's three for three, Dadan. You've been a great mom."

They walked far enough that they couldn't hear Dadan crying anymore before Koala finally asked, "What was that about?"

"Dadan raised us. Sort of. Gramps left Ace with her as a baby and Luffy was left there when he was seven. After the Porchemy Incident – the torture thing – I moved in with them. A couple months later I met Shitty Gramps for the first and last time and we all decided it was safer to move somewhere he couldn't find us: the tree house. In retrospect, there's no way we could have hidden from him. In fact, I'm sure he knows exactly where Ace and Luffy are right now and will track me down for a 'Fist of Love' as soon as he hears I'm alive."

"Ok, her 'raising' you makes a lot more sense than Makino. So, now that you remember, who is 'Shitty Gramps' and why do you say that his 'Fist of Love' hurts more than Koala's kicks?" Patch piped up.

"Vice-Admiral Garp." Sabo reveled in having dumb-founded his friends. "He put us through hell. Haki reinforced punches, throwing us down cliffs, tying us to balloons… I was only there for one training session. Three days of hell… Hmm. I just found something I can lord over Ace." There was no question that Ace was in the lead with Luffy time by miles so Sabo had to figure out at least a few things he could lord over his brother. Escaping Garp would be at the top of the list.

"So you were born a noble, ran off to live in a trash heap, were best friends with a now world famous pirate, swore brotherhood with him and an upcoming pirate, lived with mountain bandits, and had _Vice-Admiral Garp_ as a surrogate grandfather. Am I missing anything?" Koala ranted.

"Hmm… Remind me who's the king of Goa right now." He could feel her eyes boring into him.

"Outlook Stelly." Koala stated firmly. Sabo started laughing hysterically and eventually had to stop and lean against a tree. "What!?" she finally demanded.

"Stelly was- *snickers* When I ran away, my parents adopted a child of lesser nobility so that they'd still have an heir. When I was brought back, I was engaged to the princess and if I had stayed, I would be king instead of Stelly! Ahahaha!" Sabo felt like he was going to be sick from laughing too hard but this was just too brilliant. He'd have to pay his 'brother' a visit one of these days.

Koala throws her arms in the air. "You know what? Screw it! I'm done with you and your messed up history. We're going back to Fuusha, eating dinner, and then booking it away from this crazy place!"

"Unfortunately, you'll be taking me with you." Sabo taunted. Koala held up a fist menacingly and he immediately backed down. His head was still ringing despite his good mood and he didn't need to make it worse.

They trekked along back to the tree house where Sabo retrieved the prized sake cups, eager to renew his bond with his brothers. He paused for a moment, taking in the broken clock and cobwebbed wheel, wondering if this would be the last time he ever saw this place. He was under no illusions: his work was dangerous, life as a pirate was dangerous. In pursuit of their dreams, it was unlikely the three of them would ever return to Dawn. He scrambled up to the crow's nest and carefully folded their flag until it fit into one of his pockets and paused on his way out. Delicately taking down the faded drawing of them defeating a bear, Sabo wrapped it around the sake bottle, determined to avoid wrinkles. He'd hang it in his cabin for now and his office when he returned.

Now, there was just one more stop he needed to make before retrieving dinner for Dadan and reminiscing with Makino.

Staring at the new edge of Grey Terminal from a patch of burned down trees, Sabo knew exactly where his resolve to take down the World Government came from. He'd heard about the fire and how Dragon had met him, but it didn't compare to knowing; to remembering his frantic search through High Town, trying to find a single person with empathy or his mad dash through Edge Town and the Outskirts, screaming at the gates for Luffy and Ace to just be safe only to be thrown aside by the guards. He knew, from Dragon, that most of the people had gotten out thanks to the Revolutionary Army but most was not all and it left a bitter taste in his mouth that those were the people he was born to.

One day, he'd pay a visit to his parents. Maybe. Just to let them know how much he despised them and everything they stood for. More likely he would run into Stelly and help tear down his power. Yeah, that would be nice.

The pause in the burnt out patch of forest was brief before Sabo strolled into the towing trash heaps, shorter and less widespread than he remembered. Hopefully, the citizens here would be more prepared in case it happened again. If they weren't, the Revolutionary Army would be.

"This place stinks." Patch's voice came out high pitched and a little squeaky through his pinched nose.

Sabo just laughed at him. "You know I lived here for five years, right? This is nothing. Now on a _really_ hot day, that was when it got bad."

"It's smoking." Koala pointed out.

"Yup." Sabo turned to a random pile that looked promising and started digging. "It's always like that. Give me a hand, would you? I'm trying to find a pipe."

Sabo could feel Koala eyeing up the mound dubiously. "A pipe? But you already have one. With seastone tips."

"Yeah, I'm finding one for Ace. When I was a kid, we'd fight with them all the time. When I see him, I want a proper match and that means bringing him a pipe." Sabo pushed aside a broken boudoir and rummaged through the discarded plumbing underneath. Jackpot. Now he just needed one long enough.

Turned out there wasn't one in that pile and Sabo had to dig through a couple more before he found one that wasn't just long enough, but thick and sturdy. He twirled it around a couple times, checking the balance and aerodynamics before nodding in satisfaction. Now, he just had to try it out…

Sabo stalked into the Outskirts, ducking into an alley and scoping out passerby. Koala surveyed the street next to him, looking for whatever had caught his interest. "What are you doing?"

"Looking for someone to mug." It's mid-afternoon on a Friday so there were more people out than the middle of the week but still slim pickings. Maybe the blonde guy with the three piercings in his left ear?

"You have got to be kidding me." Koala grabbed his own left ear and started dragging him down the street. "You are completely incorrigible! You are not mugging someone just to check out your new toy!"

Sabo did not whine. Really. "But Koala~! It's tradition!"

"Screw your traditions! We're going back in that jungle and you can round up that dinner you promised." Sabo pouted but supposed it would have to be enough. Besides, he was sure Ace would be up for a good mugging when he found him.

Hunting down a couple of tiger lords and a king bear didn't take long and it was more troublesome dragging them back to Dadan's then it was catching them. Sabo was very happy with his new pipe. He briefly considered Ace not remembering how to use a pipe; after all, he was called Fire Fist for a reason.

Nah, he'd remember.

Dadan stared down at the slain animals thoroughly unimpressed. "It's a good thing you aren't staying or this wouldn't be anywhere close to enough."

"I know. But it seemed right for you." Sabo beams.

He pretends not to see the watery edge to his mother figure's eyes as she looks down at him, one last time. "You better not come back, you hear? I don't need you being a damn mooch and taking up space where you aren't invited."

Sabo's smile turned warm and he tipped his hat. "I understand. I'll make sure not to visit."

Dadan turns to their kills, ready to prep dinner. "And don't you dare bring your brothers! Those hellions will be the death of me!"

"Sure thing, hag!" Sabo calls over his shoulder as he exits towards Fuusha. He has Patch and Koala wait for a minute as he doubled back to steal a bottle of Dadan's finest sake and catches a glimpse of Magra consoling Dadan and Dogra. "It's ok guys, Sabo is just going to find is brothers. It's not like he died all over again."

His heart filled with warmth and just a touch of guilt. He was sorry, so very sorry that he didn't remember sooner so he could ease their pain but it meant so much that he was loved by his loose extended family.

"What was that about?" Koala asked, a touch confused by their brusque interactions.

"Oh, not much. Just promising to visit with my brothers if we ever get the chance." Sabo happily stashed the prize bottle in his coat.

"And she had to say that by telling you to never come back?"

Sabo turned to Koala, pleased as a pampered house cat. "Of course! Bandits don't do feelings. Especially not mushy ones like love and missing each other."

"But, she cried…" she pointed out and Sabo gave an involuntary shudder.

"Don't remind me. That was gross. And disturbing." He wiped himself down again. "I need to burn these clothes."

Patch inserted himself into the conversation. "So you have no problem digging through trash but one hug from your old caretaker and you need to burn everything?"

"Yes." Sabo stated firmly.

"Mental. You are completely mental."

Sabo simply grinned in relish.

The celebration at Party's Bar was homey and jovial with even the mayor stopping in. Whoop Slap had taken a long look at Sabo then launched into a rant about how irresponsible he was and how Luffy deserved better. Sabo never pointed out the tears in his eyes.

About an hour in, Whoop Slap was going on about how terrible becoming a pirate was to an amused Gorigio and Patch. Irma, having already eaten for the day, took a single slice of bread with homemade jam and disappeared somewhere, not much of one for people. Sabo wasn't too concerned; she'd snoop, as was her custom, but she'd keep everything to herself. He and Koala were settled into a nice conversation with Makino about his brothers when it took a surprising turn.

"It was so cute when Ace asked me to teach him manners. He said that he wanted to thank Shanks for saving Luffy's life and allowing them to meet. He was always so embarrassed but tried his hardest. He even tried to teach Luffy some manners but that was rather hit and miss."

Sabo smiled, adding it to his list of things to tease Ace about. "I can only imagine. He was always so angry. The first time I asked him to pass me some food I said please and he looked at me like I was insane."

Makino gave a well natured chuckle. "You know, you were a great influence on Ace." Sabo and Koala perked up in renewed interest. "He was the angriest toddler I'd ever met. He would curse at Dadan and glare at everyone. Then one day, I went up to bring him new clothes and he started telling me all about his cool new friend in Grey Terminal who was kind of weird since he wore a top hat and was a really bad fighter but didn't care about who he was and was a lot of fun."

Sabo couldn't keep his blush down so nursed his drink to hide.

Koala cooed. "That's adorable. What was it like when you first met Sabo?"

"It was surprising, but nice. I went to bring new clothes for Ace and Luffy only to discover a third boy as well. He told me that I was as pretty as Ace said I was which had Ace bright red for the rest of the day." Makino refilled her own ale and turned curious eyes on Sabo. "So how are you liking the Revolutionary Army?"

Sabo and Koala's eyes widened in shock, running through all the possibilities for how she could have found out. In any case, deny deny deny. "Why would you think that?"

The corner of Makino's lips twitched slightly in amusement. "Sabo, you said that you were saved by Luffy's dad and never said that you left. None of you mention what kind of work you do only that you 'work together' and you've mentioned being to all sorts of different kingdoms." She held up a hand in gentle placation as Sabo opened his mouth to refute her claims. "I'm not judging you and I promise not to tell Garp. I already know that Ace and Luffy are happily pursuing their dreams and I just want to know if you're happy where you ended up."

"…no wonder you're a match for Shanks." Sabo debated with himself for a moment before saying to hell with it. This was Makino, she certainly wasn't going to spill secrets. "You're good Makino-nee-san, _really_ good. Wanna join? You'd be great in interrogations."

Her laugh was small and fluttery. "I quite enjoy my bar, Sabo. But thank you for the offer."

"Sabo!" Koala yanked him down by his ear. Was she trying to tear that off? "What do you think you're doing!? You can't just admit things like that!"

"It's fine Koala, really. Makino won't tell anyone and she already figured it out." His ear was released and Sabo massaged it gently as his best friend huffed. "You're insufferable. Was he this bad as a child?"

"Hmm… I can't really answer that; I wasn't around much and only met Sabo a few times." Sabo pouted. Makino should have defended him anyway.

"I'll assume he's always been this way, then." Koala heaved an overdramatic sigh to show that she was only kidding. Mean. "Actually, I had a question about Ace and Luffy. I already know that Sabo lived in Grey Terminal for quite a while but Ace was left Dadan and her bandits when he was a baby and Luffy lived with you until he was seven?"

"That's not quite true." Makino replied and Sabo could feel his ear twitch in interest. He'd actually wanted to know the answer to this himself. "When Garp dropped Ace off with Dadan, she complained that they didn't even know how to raise a child. My mother was friends with Garp but she was sick so when he asked for a favor, I went instead. I was fourteen at the time and nervous about what Garp the Hero wanted me to do out in the forest. When I was introduced to Dadan and instructed to teach them how to care for a baby, I was taken aback. It took some trial and error but we all figured out how to take care of Ace and I became good friends with Dadan.

"When it came to Luffy though… I never met Luffy until he was two. In fact, Ace had already told me about you before I even heard of Luffy. Garp had seen Ace grow up isolated and angry – he wanted better for Luffy. I'm not saying he loved Ace less, I'm saying that he learned from his mistakes." Sabo closed his mouth from where he was about to protest.

"Now, when Garp showed up with another child, he asked if I could look after him myself. I was nineteen and had inherited the bar at that point. I asked why he couldn't leave him with Dadan and he explained that Luffy's situation was different. He told me who Luffy's father was and how it was dangerous if anyone found out but that it wasn't known that Dragon even had a child. Since Luffy didn't have to spend his life in hiding, he wanted a normal, safe environment for him.

"I accepted and the first few months were hectic. I moved into Garp's house so that I could watch him better and there were numerous questions over where he had come from since everyone knew he wasn't mine. That was actually the longest I ever went without visiting Dadan but Ace didn't mind, he had you." Makino gave him a warm smile and Sabo successfully resisted the urge to blush in embarrassed satisfaction.

"When Luffy was four, Garp insisted that I move back into the flat above my bar since Luffy was old enough to take care of himself. I didn't like it, but I agreed. Luffy was very lonely and spent a lot of time at the bar and many nights sleeping over. Until he was five, he spent almost every night with me. When Shanks came, Luffy insisted that he wasn't scared so he could sleep alone and spent most nights at his house. I was actually quite lonely when he stopped staying over.

"Shanks thought Luffy was a huge brat at first but Luffy just wormed his way into his heart and instead of staying a week, he spent a whole year, making various trips out to the rest of East Blue. When he learned that Luffy was living alone, he made Luffy stay with him on his ship for three days. Luffy was ecstatic."

Sabo could only imagine. Not only was Luffy not alone, but he was staying with one of his favorite people on a real pirate ship. He hoped that Luffy's own ship was warm and comforting. His crewmates would share their room, right? It's not like Luffy would ever be comfortable in the Captain's quarters, separated from his friends…

"A few months after Luffy turned seven, Garp came for a visit. He was outraged that Luffy kept saying he would be pirate king and took Luffy right up the mountain muttering that it had been a mistake to not take him in the first place.

"I only saw Luffy once more before I met you, and at that time he was very sad. He said that Ace was very cool but he was too fast for Luffy to keep up with. That was ok though, because one day he would be fast enough that he could always keep up with Ace and then he couldn't be left behind." Sabo felt touched and a bit ashamed. Ace had been straight out trying to kill Luffy and Sabo had just seen it as a nuisance that his friend shouldn't bother with. But Luffy, wonderful, loving, optimistic Luffy, had seen it as a matter of not being fast enough.

"When I next came to visit and saw how happy all three of you were, I was so glad that Luffy had finally found a real home." Sabo beamed. Of course Luffy's home was with his big brothers! He just hadn't known it yet.

"Aww… that's so sweet." Koala cooed. "And kind of sad. Luffy was lonely for a long time, wasn't he?"

Sabo felt a stab in his heart. 'Being alone hurts worse than being hurt!' At the time, he already felt like Luffy must have been unbearably lonely but after hearing all of this… Stupid Garp. If he had just given Luffy to Ace in the first place they all would have been happy.

"Hmm… at the same time that Luffy was lonely, he was also happy. He may have had to sleep in a big house but he spent almost all his time here at the bar or on the beach exploring. He enjoyed life more because he knew what it was to feel sad." She gave a small smile tinged with sorrow. Sabo understood. Luffy was excited over everything and as long the people he loved were with him, nothing could possibly be wrong. The moment broke when an excited spark entered her eyes. "Wait here a moment, I have something you'll want to see."

Makino rushed up the staircase to her room while Koala turned to him. "Why did Ace have to be hidden away while Luffy could be hidden in plain sight?"

Sabo winced. Damn, damn, _damn_ Koala and her fine tuned observation. Of course she had to pick up the most damning detail of the whole story and focus on it. "Koala, for everyone's sakes, don't go there." Their eyes held firm, Sabo trying to convey how serious this was and how he wasn't going to budge. She finally gave a minute nod and Sabo mentally sighed in relief. This wasn't over though. Koala knew something was up and even though she wouldn't ask direct questions, she'd be watching for any slip.

Makino came back down the stairs holding a pile of papers. She smiled as she retook her seat, brandishing the stack of letters. After Shanks left, he would write me from time to time. Somewhere along the line, he decided that we were Luffy's parents and would ask about 'our boy'." She rolled her eyes at the ridiculous sentiment.

"He writes me every few months talking about what he's been doing and how he can't wait for Luffy to grow up and become a great pirate." She shifts through the sheets, pulling out one near the bottom of the stack. "Here's one of my favorites, 'Dear Makino, It's been three long years and I miss our happy family even more than when I first left. Benn reminded me the other day that Luffy is about to be ten. Ten! I'm becoming an old man, Makino. Not that you're old! You will always be young and beautiful and the most wonderful barmaid in any of the seas…' Really, he's ridiculous."

Sabo took the moment to get a jab in. "He's also completely mistaken. Makino, you're far too good for him. He should know that." If Sabo was passive aggressively trying to lessen his guilt of not even thinking about Luffy's tenth birthday, well, that wasn't anyone's business.

She gave him a wry grin and flipped through a few more pages. "Ah, here's his attempt at poetry: 'My lovely Makino, I miss you more than I covet my treasure / And dream every night that we were back together / Our son shall set sail in just a few years / And I promise to greet him with good rum and cheers.' He goes on to say that Benn offered to help but he refused since he wanted to make it 'from the heart.' "

"He is really in love with you, isn't he?" Koala muttered absently.

"I wouldn't say that. I think he's in love with the idea of a family. If he loved me, he would actually come to visit; especially since Luffy set sail. They had a promise that they wouldn't see each other again until Luffy was a great pirate but Shanks knows Luffy isn't here anymore. Listen," She pulled up the letter on top, the newest, and began reading.

" 'My dearest love,

"Our son has set sail and I couldn't be more proud. I have his bounty poster hanging proudly next to the picture of our happy family. 30,000 as a first bounty! And it says that he took out all the big players in the East Blue! I'm so proud of him! He's gonna raise hell on the Grand Line, just like his dad. I can't wait to see what he accomplishes next! If he's already toppled this many pirates, I wonder if he'll overthrow a country! I've already thrown a huge party in his honor but we'll have to have an even bigger one if he does that!

"Are you lonely without him? I know he was always such a noisy child and Party's Bar must be so quiet without him around. I imagine your customers are glad for it though. He didn't get into a lot of bar fights while he was there, did he? Although it would be good practice for being a proper pirate… I'll have to celebrate once he destroys his first bar! Won't that be wonderful?

"My heart lives with you my lovely and with our energetic son. I can hardly believe he's a young man getting ready to challenge me on the high seas. I know you wish us both the best and want the same for you in return.

"Love,  
The most Debonair Captain on the seas,  
Shanks'

"Really, he knows he could come visit me now and doesn't even mention the possibility of coming to see me." She rolls her eyes with a fond smile but the edge of disappointment is still clear in her miniscule slump of her shoulders. Sabo wondered how seriously she was waiting. Was it just a fantasy or did she actually hope that Shanks would come back?

"There's one last letter you'll be interested in – he mentions Ace." She flipped through a few pages, brandishing her prize once she found it. " 'I had the strangest encounter the other day. This rookie pirate came up to me and I thought he was looking for a fight. The next things I know, he's bowing to me and sincerely thanking me for saving his little brother's life. Now, I know I drink a lot, but I think I'd remember if Luffy had a brother. He told me that he met Luffy after I left and that they would run around the forest together. I'm so glad Luffy made such a good friend. I offered to fight him and he declined saying that Luffy would never forgive him is he fought hiss little brother's hero if it wasn't to challenge me for being the Pirate King. Did you hear that? It's been almost eight years and I'm still Luffy's hero! Every dad wants to be their kid's hero and for me, it's true! Take that Whitebeard! My son idolizes me!' – He goes back to his usual ravings about what a great pirate he is and how great Luffy will be, especially with such great father and mother figures to support him." She rolled her eyes and put the letters back in their proper order.

"So… he's delusional?" Koala asked.

"That's my opinion." Makino smiled back at her.

The night wore on, Sabo having a pleasant, if overbearing, conversation with Whoop Slap and generally having a good time reminiscing about the best time of his life. He'd caught Irma and Gorigio passing embarrassing stories with Makino at one point and was grateful that Makino wouldn't have a lot to share. He'd only met her three times after all.

It was nearing midnight when his crew started heading back and Sabo was contemplating everything he'd have to talk about. He couldn't wait to see his brothers and catch up on all he missed. At the very least, the bear incident needed to be explained and Sabo had a strong urge to slam Ace into the ground for letting their baby brother get hurt like that. Not like he wasn't expecting to get sucker punched for being gone…

Makino joined him on the front steps, enjoying the familiar breeze.

"Sabo, can you do me a favor?"

"Of course Makino-nee-san." He took in her wistful expression, gazing at the harbor.

"It's silly and I'm ninety percent sure it's all a joke, but if it's not, tell Shanks that if he truly means any of his silly declarations that he has one year to come see me in person. If he doesn't, I'm marrying the next handsome pirate to walk into my bar." She glanced back at him with a sparkle of mischief in her eyes that told Sabo her threat was guaranteed to work.

"I'll be sure to tell him. Would you like me to beat him up too? I could. Maybe. I could at least give him a run for his money." Sabo offered.

"That's not necessary. Just telling him will be more than enough." She squeezed his hand in thanks spreading warmth in Sabo's heart. "And tell him that if he even thinks about being clever and showing up a day late so that I'll simply have to marry him I'll toss him to the Lord of the Coast myself."

"Lord of the Coast?"

"The seaking that ate his arm."

Sabo chuckled. "Of course Makino-nee-san."

They sit there in companionable silence, trading small tales of the last ten years and enjoying each others' company. Sabo will tell Shanks, no matter what. And if he even considers letting Makino down, well, Sabo has a duty to castrate him. Probably while he's drunk. That would be his best bet.

* * *

 _This was the worst chapter to write. I am not kidding._

 _The previous chapters were fast, the chapter after this is going well, but this chapter… Ugh. It's been like pulling teeth. (Which is a really odd expression.)_

 _I had to keep nitpicking details, going over all the items Sabo had to collect, and rearranging conversations until they felt realistic and had everyone in character. Ugh. This chapter feels like filler but it's not like I could just leave Dawn Island and jump ahead - there was a lot of bridging those two points that had to happen. I just want to write Ace. T.T_

 _Also it lacks emotional torment. Which is what I live for._

 _Putting in my 'Shanks writes Makino' and 'Luffy's lonely childhood' headcanons was also nice. And required lots of reworking. T^T But damnit! I wanted to write those!_

 _I also put out a couple one shots while I was stalling so if you want Ace fluff check out_ Drunken Brocon _and if you like Sabo-needs-a-hug check out_ Tell me a story _. *hinthint,nudgenudge,shamelessplug* (Oh, that rhymed…)_

 _Review! Please! After all of this, I am craving feedback! Good, bad, 'I hate this'; I don't care, just talk to me people! *drops dramatically to knees* What can I improve? What keeps you coming back? TALK TO ME!_

 _B.S. Next chapter has Ace! At last!_


	6. Ace

_I apologize for being late and hope this meets expectations.  
_

* * *

Sabo leaned against the outside of the bar fighting off the flock of nerves battering him to turn tail and run. He'd made it this far, he wasn't running.

They'd had smooth sailing (surprisingly so) all the way to Barrock where they'd estimated Ace would have to resupply and, wouldn't you know it? They managed to overhear people gossiping about Fire Fist Ace entering a certain bar just a few minutes after arriving in town. Why couldn't it be harder to find him? Or maybe a near miss? Sabo just knew his brother was gonna be pissed and wanted to put it off as long as possible.

But no, everything had fallen into place and here Sabo was, debating with himself over how to greet his long forgotten brother. 'I'm sorry' was a bit too pandering for Sabo's tastes and a simple 'Hey, so… I had amnesia, don't kill me for real' just felt wrong. He was clearly going to get hit (this was Ace after all) but, Sabo would prefer to get a couple licks in before he got his ass beat. Maybe his old crush on Makino? Him actually having manners? Maybe the fact that he'd admitted Dadan was a half-way decent caretaker? (At least enough to thank her as he left.)

Too soon the bright orange cowboy hat (and when did Ace get a hat?) was passing him by and Sabo went with the first thing that came to mind. "For your information, the section of a letter written as an afterthought is called the 'Post Script', or P.S. BS on the other hand, stands for 'bullshit'. Personally, I think BS suits you better."

The notorious pirate had stopped just a few feet past him, shoulders growing rigid in anger with every word spoken. When Sabo said that 'bullshit' suited him better, he'd spun around with an acid glare. "How the fuck did you get that letter?" It was a vicious command, barely restrained to maintain a respectable volume.

"You sent it." Was all Sabo had to say.

Fire flickered behind silver eyes (did that mean that 'inner fire' was literal for his brother?) before he marched up to Sabo who simply pulled the rim of his hat a touch lower, not quite ready for this confrontation. " _That letter_ was never supposed to be read by _anyone_. Who the fuck are and what did you think you were doing?"

He was clearly just refraining himself from bashing Sabo bodily against the wall so Sabo braced himself. This was it. No more time to think about it or prepare himself: impact was here. "Didn't you say, 'somehow from beyond the grave'? Well, 'somehow' turned out to be a news coo and 'grave' should be replaced with amnesia." The air fell still between them and Sabo waited another moment before pushing his faded black top hat up by the tip of his pointer finger. "Hi Ace."

Silver met blue as his brother slowly took him in. The initial reaction was rage but Ace slowly took in the suit (Sabo had made sure to wear a blue one), the top hat, and finally settled on what Sabo could only presume to be his goggles and his expression changed to dismayed, disbelieving shock. Eyes snapped back to his face, searching every line and curve to find his lost brother. Sabo tried to give a shit-eating, mocking grin, but the corners would only lift so far as he waited on his brother's verdict. The familiar pang of annoyance and embarrassment came when he felt his scar being examined; this time accompanied by the uncomfortable knowledge that this was what could have killed him – that Ace was looking at the proof that his brother should be dead. Sabo resisted the urge to fidget: he'd give Ace as long as he needed.

"You- you… I…" Ace held up a finger and cautiously poked him in the chest.

Oh for goodness sake; "I'm real Ace. I got your letter and I'm really here."

That seemed to snap his brother out of it as eyes snapped to his, connecting, and surprise tinged with hope painted his brother in childlike naivety. Sabo was warmed that he could make his brother feel this way and had to smack away the urge to coo even if it would break the tension.

"Sabo… ?" It was questioning, like he still wasn't willing to believe it, and the tentative grin Sabo wore turned soft.

"Yeah, it's me Ace. I'm sorry." Damn, he hadn't meant to say sorry until after he could explain himself. He didn't care though and it seemed Ace didn't either.

He looked torn between decking Sabo and hugging him but before he could do either a wall slammed up. "Prove it. Prove you're Sabo."

He'd been expecting this. Ace was a defensive little shit and that was one thing Sabo had been sure would never change. "When we were eight, we attacked a boar that was too big for us and your ankle got messed up. We managed to defeat it but I had to carry you back to my hovel in Grey Terminal for the night and you stayed for three days. That's when I started pressuring you to just live with me full-time."

One more searching gaze before, "You son of a bitch!" Sabo braced himself for the clearly telegraphed punch but was readjusted into a jarring hug at the last moment. "Where the hell have you been you ungrateful ass?! And you just show up correcting my grammar?! Fuck you, Sabo. Fuck you."

His brother's broad shoulder dug into his throat but he didn't care – _couldn't_ care. Large tremors shook them up and down and strong fists tried to crush Sabo into Ace's very being as if they could never be close enough – as if he wasn't real until Ace could feel his very soul. He brought his arms around his brother's waist and pulled him even closer.

"I'm real Ace. I'm really here. I'm so sorry- I'll tell you everything."

They spent a few minutes like that; Ace silently crying, occasionally throwing insults while Sabo apologized and tried to sooth him as they both tried to crush each other into one person so they would never be apart again.

All things come to an end though and once Ace calmed down, they both stepped back feeling slightly awkward at such an emotional display; they weren't Luffy after all.

One awkward throat clearing later, Ace asked, "Do you have somewhere we could talk? My skiff isn't exactly private." With a smile, Sabo led him back to his ship. If they happened to be holding hands to reassure themselves that the other was still there, well, it was no one's fucking business.

Bret sat out on deck, keeping a lookout and silently nodded Sabo through. That was nice of Bret. He'd buy him some powdered donuts before they left port. Entering the captain's cabin, Ace looked around the sparse room which had been decorated with Luffy and Ace's bounty posters, the drawing from the tree house, and their old ASL flag pinned proudly opposite the door. His brother walked over to the flag, nostalgically ran a hand over it, and then fiercely turned to Sabo. "How?"

Sabo sat on the bed and ran his left hand through his hair, baring his scar. "When I last saw you, I was taken back to my parents and told that I would be a model son 'or else'." Seeing Ace's annoyed 'I already know this' sneer he started rambling faster. "Desperate not to put you in danger, I dove into my studies only for Stelly – a lesser noble my parents had adopted in order to still have an heir – to tell me about the plan to burn down Grey Terminal. The nobles planned to burn up all the trash before the Tenryuubito arrived in order to make things 'perfect' and 'beautiful'. I asked everywhere, trying to find just a single person with a shred of decency but they all said I shouldn't bother, that it was going to be dealt with properly and there was no chance the fire would hurt me so I shouldn't worry.

"I was disgusted." He spits the phrase like a curse and it comes nowhere close to describing the feeling.

"I ran to the gates, screaming for you and Luffy to be safe, but was thrown to the side by the guards. I don't remember what happened clearly – from distress, not amnesia – but apparently I ran into Dragon the Revolutionary and told him that the nobles were the true trash and deserved to have been burned themselves." Ace absently snorted in agreement and Sabo's lips twitched into a momentary smile.

"Quite. I woke up a few hours later and made my way home. I was whipped for running off and causing trouble; especially because I had made a spectacle of myself running through High Town. As the days went by, I knew I couldn't stay." He looked pleadingly into his brother's eyes, _begging_ him to understand. "I couldn't stay, Ace; I felt like I would lose myself trying to obey my parents – like _I wouldn't even be me_ _anymore_ – so I _had_ to run. I was so sure, _sure_ that you could look out for Luffy and I could make my way just fine and that everything would turn out right! I didn't know the Tenryuubito was arriving that day! I didn't know Dogra saw my ship blow up! I didn't know I even had brothers!"

His tone abruptly goes flat. "I woke up, in agonizing pain with only the thought that I desperately needed to get away from my parents. I couldn't remember anything- I just," he choked for a moment, forcing himself to tell his brother the ugly truth. "I didn't want to know. With how _badly_ I didn't want to go back, I didn't _want_ to know what I was running from. I considered it a blessing to not even remember my parents and any time it seemed like I would remember something, I just shoved it to the side because _I didn't want to know._ "

He hung his head in shame, fisting his trousers. "I forgot about you. I forgot about you and Luffy and Dadan and everything. I spent years not knowing and _happy_ that I didn't know of a life before the Revolutionary Army. I-" He glanced up too quickly to even take in Ace's expression before hanging his head lower and shutting his eyes. "I- When your letter showed up, I was shocked. Who would write me? All correspondences were supposed to go through 'Jessica' and here was this letter with my name written messily in broad strokes. When I started reading I- I actually wanted to put it down. But then I couldn't because somebody missed me. Somebody out there knew me and remembered me fondly and I didn't know how that fit into my life and I couldn't even imagine anyone caring because my life had been horrible, right? But here was this letter telling me that I was _loved_ and _missed_ and that I had brothers who just wanted to see me again and I was the worst piece of crap because for all those years, _I didn't even want to know_."

He was breathing heavily, feeling out of control as he tried to center himself. It was so hard, so hard to remember that he had gone on his journey and found his memories and wasn't sitting in his new, damp office struggling with the thought that he had left people behind. He forced in a deep breath, counted to ten, and released it. Now wasn't the time to lose it. Ace was here and he had to, had to explain himself, somehow. Had to make this better.

"And the other part? Why didn't you take us with you?" The unspoken 'we would have gone' made his heart clench.

Sabo looked up, meeting his brother's steady gaze. This was the part that had been hardest to come to terms with: leaving his brothers behind.

He looked to the right in shame, distracting himself with the patterns in the wood panels. "I thought I was keeping you safe. Luffy was too young to sail; I knew that you'd keep him safe on Dawn Island and thought we'd meet up again on the sea sharing our crazy adventures." He stayed quiet for a minute, not wanting to voice this next part but owing Ace the truth. His voice came out hushed and guilty. "With every day that passed, I thought you weren't coming. I waited, hoping every night, that you'd be knocking on my window, trying to keep Luffy quiet and ready to fight our way out of there. But you never came. So I decided that I had to get out. I had planned to come visit but..." he gestured absently.

Sabo felt so much shame for doubting his brothers. For thinking they weren't coming for him just because it took more time than he wanted. Ace had written about Bluejam and being in the fire and even Dadan being there and somehow getting injured. Of course they couldn't come right away – they were hurt. And then to hear that Sabo had died before they could even get their bearings- he was a piece of shit. The worst brother possible. He had _doubted_ them.

Steady footsteps approached before the bed sunk down beside him. "You know… we weren't coming." Sabo snapped his head around in alarm. But the letter- it had sounded like they had a plan and everything! "After you left, I was so mad that you had walked away from us." Ace's hands were clasped between his knees, eyes fixated on them. "Bluejam started talking about how being born a noble was amazing and that you were just laughing at us; treating our friendship like a game. Luffy never believed it for a moment but I was so hurt that I- I told Luffy to forget about you.

"We ended up doing some work for Bluejam, just to earn a few coins. Luffy didn't want to but I made him. Anything was better than what we used to do. Hunting, rummaging through trash, going into the Outskirts – everything that reminded me of you pissed me off so working for Bluejam was better. Sabo…" his fists clasped tighter and Sabo absently wondered if he could break his own fingers that way. "We're the ones that placed the explosives."

And like that, Sabo's world is shattered. That, that couldn't be right. Ace and Luffy would never do such a thing! They'd never be part of a plan to burn down people's homes and livelyhoods!

"We didn't know what they were. Bluejam just wanted us to put a few crates around Grey Terminal and it was easy, mindless work so I didn't have to think about you. When we found out, we tried to fight him but the bastard just tied us up and set the ship on fire." Sabo feels his heart stop, restarting at double time and Ace's tone turns even more grave. "Luffy managed to grab some broken glass and we escaped but by then, everything was on fire. We searched everywhere before running into Bluejam again.

"He wasn't very clear but I think he was promised a spot in High Town if he did this but they double-crossed him so he decided killing us was the least he could do. He kept asking about our pirate fund, like we weren't all about to fucking die. Luffy- We tried to fight and Luffy got cut real bad on his face. He was down and this one guy just held his sword over Luffy ready to kill him and I just… I screamed and everything stopped. Everyone but Bluejam and Luffy fainted." Conqueror's haki? He'd ask later.

"The next thing I know, Dadan and the bandits were there. They took Luffy and ran but I wouldn't- couldn't run. Not when I could be the last line of defense between that maniac and Luffy. Dadan stayed with me and eventually, we threw Bluejam on a burning pyre. The smell was… fuck. There's just no describing the smell of burning flesh and trash and knowing that a whole town is being eradicated around you.

"Dadan carried me out of there, burning herself badly, and I spent the next few days sneaking her medicine and moving us to avoid the guards sweeping the area for survivors. Every time I was in High Town, nicking whatever I could, I would look for you, wonder where you were and how soon we could get you back. After all of that, after almost watching Luffy die… I wasn't going to leave you. I just had to make sure Luffy was ok first."

Ace looks him in the eye accusingly. "And when I finally get back, you know what happens? Not even a half hour later Dogra runs in there and has to tell us that you'd died. That you'd been blown up and weren't coming back.

"If you had just waited a couple more fucking days this wouldn't have happened! You wouldn't have gotten blown up and Luffy wouldn't have suffered and we wouldn't be having this goddamn conversation right now!"

His gaze was searing but Sabo noticed what he glaringly left out. "And you suffered. You admitted it, in your letter."

They looked into each others' eyes, establishing just what had happened and where each other was coming from. A silent understanding passed between them before Ace leaned his forehead on Sabo's shoulder. "If you die again, I'll fucking kill you."

"You know that's a really stupid thing to say, right?"

"Shut up. I'm trying to enjoy the moment." So Sabo shut up.

Morning came with a leg familiarly sprawled over his waist in the haphazard pile of blankets they had moved to the floor. Ah, just like home. They'd have to do this with Luffy too once they found him.

Joyously shoving Ace aside, Sabo got ready for the day eager to fight his black hole of a brother for food. Just like the good old days. The thought that Sabo was starting to sound like an old man was promptly stomped into oblivion because Sabo actually had something to reminisce about and he was thrilled with every moment.

Ace grumbled behind him, asking where the bathroom was.

"It's down by the crew's quarters. Downstairs, left turn, second door on the left." Sabo rattled off.

There was silence behind him and Sabo turned, wondering why his brother hadn't left only to be met with a solid right hook.

Right, he'd been expecting that.

He stumbled back a couple steps raising his right hand to his left cheek. Damn that hurt but considering he hadn't gone through a wall, Ace had seriously held back. "Where the fuck were you!?"

Sabo glared right back. "Where was I?! I was blown up and didn't know who the fuck I was!"

"Stop making excuses!" Ace swung again and Sabo seamlessly ducked under the arm and came up smoothly on his brother's right.

"It's not a fucking excuse, Moron!" Ace slams his elbow back into Sabo's right cheek and damn, he's gonna have the worst blush for the next few hours.

"You think that makes it better!? Years! Fucking years! We put flowers on your grave! I dug a hole and buried the rest of your clothes! You couldn't wait two more fucking days so that we could go with you!?" Ace punched and Sabo dodged with every accusation until it was time for him to launch his counter attack.

"No! I fucking couldn't because I _didn't know_! Yeah, maybe I should have, but the universe already punished me for that so get off your imaginary high horse and stop being an idiot!" He got Ace into a hold and shoved him up against a wall.

Ace head-butted him and decided to hit him where it hurts. "Did you even look for us!? You had time to clear out our fucking pirate fund but did you even look for us!?" He knocked out Sabo's knee and kicked him halfway across the room.

Sabo twisted with the kick and rolled himself into a crouch, snapping his head up to glare at his brother. "I thought it was better if I just left! Think about it! My parents were willing to kill you! You think it was safe for me to go back there?!" He blocked an ax kick with his forearms and swiped Ace's remaining leg out from under him. He climbed over Ace, gripped his shoulders, and slammed him into the ground. "The first thing they would have done is hunted you down and dragged me back!"

Ace growled, twisting his legs around Sabo's waist and reversed their position. "And you thought leaving was the answer!? What about when they came searching and we didn't have answers!? They'd fucking torture Luffy and it would be Porchemy all over again except it would be _**all your fault**_!" He slammed his fists one after the other into Sabo's face.

Grabbing Ace's overlong hair, Sabo head butted him then sunk his fingers deep into the scalp, forcing defiant silver to meet adamant sky. "Why do you think I raised a pirate flag in the middle of the day leaving from Goa Kingdom!? It was to raise fucking attention so that they'd know I was at sea!"

Ace tried to pull his head away and when he couldn't he settled for baring his teeth. "You think that makes things better? Do you even know what you did to Luffy!? He fucking starved himself! For weeks, I had to badger him into eating and he kept wasting food saying that he was putting it aside for Sabo! He kept losing weight and being pissy and I didn't fucking know what to do!"

Oh, that was just _low_. He released Ace only to hit him in the solar plexus, stunning him momentarily. He bodily shoved him off. "Oh? So it was fucking right for you to chase him off so he nearly got gutted by a bear!? You were supposed to look out for Luffy! I fucking trusted you to!" He tackled a scrambling Ace and managed to get himself slammed into the desk behind his brother. The wind momentarily flew out of him as the corner hit his spine just wrong.

"Me!?" Ace slammed his fist into Sabo's gut. "You should have known better! I didn't know how to fucking take care of Luffy! You knew that! I just knew how to beat things up and keep us safe! You were the one who knew what to do- the one with all the fucking answers!" He stood up, panting heavily and glaring down at Sabo. " **You fucking abandoned us!** "

Sabo sat up, adjusting himself more comfortably against the desk. He had after all.

"Is that it? Did you not think we were good enough!?" Ace glared down at him, fists clenched angrily at his sides, ready to go another round.

Sabo stared at his brother's boots, letting thick tension build between them.

Finally, Ace had enough and walked away to land heavily on the mattress. "Fuck, Sabo, I…" He huffed audibly in aggravation. "I just… I didn't mean to do all of that."

Sabo leaves his eyes where his brother was just standing and offers a wry chuckle tinged with bitterness. "No, you did. And I get it. I really get it. I fucked up. I fucked up big time and hurt the only people who mattered to me." He clenched his right fist, his left bracing his gut – that last hit had been harsh.

"No, you didn't." The rebuke was firm with a certain tint of self loathing. Sabo really thought that might have gone away after all that time with Luffy. "I… I was just angry. You tried your best and waited and we didn't come. I'm so sorry. If I had just thought of anything other than how mad I was none of this would have happened. We could have grown up together on Dawn and you never would have…"

"Died?" Sabo could feel Ace flinch and he wasn't sure if it was a shift in the air or just knowing his brother. "There's really no point thinking about it. What's done is done. I know I can't really make up for what happened but…" He looked up, almost shyly glancing through his bangs. "I'm here now. I can at least try."

"Fuck Sabo, is that why you didn't fight back?" Sabo winced. He hoped his brother wouldn't have noticed how he let every hit land and barely put any weight behind his blows. "You think you deserve to be beat up?"

Sabo maintains his silence. His brother knows – any denial would just piss him off and there isn't a defense. Sabo deserved everything his brother threw at him: he'd abandoned them after all.

"Fucking hell Sabo…" Ace is suddenly crouched in his face, his 'I'm not usually the voice of reason but right now you're being an idiot' glare out in full force. Sabo had missed that expression. "Sabo. This was not your fault. This was your parents, Bluejam, the Tenryuubito – hell, the whole goddamn world. But not you. It wasn't your fault, it wasn't mine, and you need to stop your over dramatic pity party before I make your right eye match your left."

He couldn't help it, Sabo started to laugh. It was cruel to threaten a matching scar but even in his kindest moments Ace always tried to solve his problems with violence. There was that whole 'trying to kill Whitebeard for two months' thing he needed to ask about. Apparently, that's just how Ace made friends. "You're a moron."

Ace blushes and Sabo wishes he had a camera. He's so much more expressive! "Yeah, well, you're worse."

Sabo nodded agreeably. "Probably." They exchanged small smiles and it felt like the air was finally clearing between them. There was still a lot to talk about – ten years worth – but for the moment, Ace had burned through his anger and Sabo felt partially forgiven.

(Not fully though. Never fully. He couldn't be as long as he knew that he had hurt his brothers this way. That he hurt Ace, his first and best friend; the strange jungle boy who had taught him how to live and that there was more to life than posturing and misery. That he hurt Luffy, the boy who didn't even know him and almost died for just the chance of having a friend; the sunshine that saved them. No, he couldn't be forgiven. But, if only a little, he'd selfishly take what was given.)

A knock came on the door startling the two. "Are you two done in there? Breakfast is ready and we've been waiting to meet Ace for over a month now."

The brothers glanced at each other before turning back to the door. "Sure thing Koala."

"Koala?" Ace straightened himself up and held out a hand for Sabo.

Taking the hand, Sabo felt warmth in his heart at the simple gesture. "Koala is one of my best friends. While I was freaking out over having brothers, she gathered up a crew and a ship so that I could search for you guys. And my lost memories."

"…and you have those, right?" His eyebrows furrowed, unsure.

Sabo grinned brightly in reassurance. "Yes, I do. That's why I went to Dawn first. You asked some big questions and I figured it would be pretty insulting if I hadn't even looked for answers when I saw you."

Ace thinks it over. "It's better that you have answers but no matter what, it matters that you're here."

The warmth in his heart grows and Sabo doesn't ever want this feeling to stop. Having his brother here is more than he ever dreamed of. His greatest treasure. He'd tease Ace mercilessly over being a sap later. The tattoo especially was prime material.

"So the bathroom was…"

"Downstairs, left, second door on the left."

Splashing water on his face, Ace contemplated what the fuck just happened.

The previous night felt like a dream. He'd been slightly drunk and a dream Sabo saying that he had only had amnesia and came back because of Luffy's damn sentimental letter was a two-faced fantasy that he was desperate to indulge in. It wasn't the only time he'd imagined a way for Sabo to come back to them; not even the first time he'd considered that Sabo might join the Revolutionary Army. It seemed like a cause his brother could get behind.

He often used these daydreams to sort out his mangled feelings because admitting he had weaknesses and regrets was almost as bad as admitting who his father was. But in his half drunk mind, he could talk to the hallucination of his lost brother however he wanted. Being corrected on how to write a fucking letter was stupid but, Sabo was like that sometimes; lauding his better education over Ace and Luffy not because it made him superior, but because it would frustrate Ace and make Luffy glow in wonder. And they all knew (although none of them would say) that Ace was impressed too.

When he'd woken up on the floor of an unfamiliar room, he hadn't thought much of it. His narcolepsy had him used to waking up random places and with the blond guy buttoning up his white dress shirt, he'd assumed he'd had a one night stand – it wouldn't be the first time he'd slept with a man. So, in usual fashion, he decided to use the restroom and be on his way.

Until the voice that came back was dream Sabo.

It had taken him a few seconds to reconcile that his dream was not a dream. It took a couple more seconds for his body to react and sucker punch the non-hallucination.

He hadn't meant all of that. Not really.

Yeah, he was upset that his brother had taken ten agonizing years to come back but 'amnesia from being blown up' was a pretty good excuse. Not that that stopped Ace from taking out his frustration over all the misery that could have been avoided if Sabo had just survived in the first place. Or remembered. Or searched for them. Or a lot of things.

Ace forced himself to take deep breaths. He shouldn't have tried to beat up Sabo. A miracle had just happened; Ace had his brother back. The first thing he should do was definitely _not_ beat the bastard into a pulp.

He should have bet on Luffy's crazy luck years ago and tried something like this sooner.

And now he was supposed to meet some girl named Koala who was Sabo's best friend (was Ace no longer his best friend? His _friend_?) and a handful of Revolutionaries who had brought Sabo back to him.

By the blues, Sabo was _alive_.

Imagining was one thing but having Sabo here, tangible…

Ace wasn't sure how to feel.

Awed? Absolutely. Disbelief? Ace pinched himself. Yeah, still feeling that. Angry? A little, he'd burnt through most of that earlier. Annoyed? He recognized guilt when he saw it so yeah, a little annoyed.

The most important part was that Sabo was here.

So what next?

His growling stomach decided for him so he sucked in a deep breath, grasped the faux confidence that had carried him through countless social interactions, and followed his nose to the galley.

The amount of food laid out made it clear that Sabo had warned them of his monstrous appetite which had only grown since he'd eaten the mera mera no mi. It had actually explained a lot about Luffy's appetite as a kid, having a passive devil fruit ability meant that you burned a lot of calories. He mentally groaned at the inadvertent fire pun. Thatch had–

 _Thatch_. Agony squeezed his heart but was swiftly brushed away by the joy of having Sabo back.

Maybe it was mean spirited but this was _Sabo_ , his _brother_ , not just ship brother and good friend, but his _actual brother_ , back from the dead. He was more important than Thatch.

He took the empty seat next to his brother and dug in. He was halfway through his fourth plate when a hand stole the sausage he was reaching for. Did he just…?

On the Moby Dick, no one was brave enough to try and steal food from him. When he was Captain of the Spade pirates, he was too respected.

Without a second thought he retaliated, snatching a mango from Sabo's fingertips and they quickly descended into a frenzy of elbows and sticky fingers. Ace smiled through a mouthful of toast. _This_ is how meals were supposed to be eaten. He'd gotten used to his portion being respected but it was much more satisfying to fight for it. He briefly wondered if he could goad the other commanders into doing this. Nah, probably not. Izou would shoot him for even suggesting it.

"It's like wild beasts…" One of the revolutionaries commented reminding Ace that he and his brother weren't alone. Oh yeah, manners. That thing he asked Makino to teach him. He felt his cheeks brighten but immediately disregarded it. Eating like this felt like home and he was a pirate – who cared?

As Ace finally cleared the last plate (out eating Sabo 2:1), he finally paid attention to the slender girl across from him. Eggplant hair held in a high ponytail, thin, delicate nose and mouth, intense navy eyes boring into him… She looked about Luffy's age. Was this Koala? Was this the girl that had replaced Ace as Sabo's best friend?

Drawing together his courage, he stretched out a hand to shake. "Hi, I'm Ace. You must be Koala, right?"

Laughter resounded up and down the table as the girl politely took his hand. "Not Koala, Irma. It's nice to meet you."

Ace finished shaking her hand, bright red and wishing he could erase the last thirty seconds. A busty brunette peered around Sabo to offer a cute smile. "I'm Koala. It's nice to meet you, Ace." She held out a hand and Sabo leaned back to accommodate the handshake.

"Yeah, nice to meet you." Ace (futilely) crushed his embarrassment.

The man with burgundy curls and an orange jacket sitting next to Irma held out his hand next. "Hi, I'm Patch. These are Gorigio and Bret." He shrugged to the last two members of the table; a man about Kingdew's build with coffee dreadlocks and an oval jaw and an older man in his thirties with bushy eyebrows and no hair.

Ace shook Patch's hand and nodded at the other two. "It's nice to meet you."

"Wow, you really are polite!" Patch exclaimed. "You know, there's all these rumors around but I didn't really believe them; especially after Sabo laughed himself sick at the thought."

Giving Sabo a mild glare, Ace was thankful for the tension breaker. Sabo shrugged without remorse. "What? You were a savage jungle brat the last time I saw you."

Feeling the rising annoyance in the back of his head, Ace retaliated. "At least I made improvements – you're still wearing a napkin around your neck."

"It's called a cravat and it's classy. Not like you would know Mr. No Shirt."

Ace smirked and twisted to show off his pride. "And cover this baby up? I'm a Whitebeard – the day I cover my back is the day I die. Which, since I promised Luffy, can't happen."

"You promised Luffy you wouldn't die?" Ace turned back to look at Sabo's questioning gaze. "Why would you do that? Luffy takes promises very seriously and you can't promise something impossible."

Resolved steel stares into swirling waters. "Sabo, when Luffy wasn't eating and wasn't getting better, I had to do something. With you… gone, Luffy needed to know I wouldn't go away too."

"But you can't keep that promise. You'll only hurt Luffy worse." Sabo insisted, eyes hardening in disapproval.

Ace bristled. "Well what did you want me to do? Just let Luffy keep hurting himself? Let him waste away in misery? You remember as well as I do! 'Being alone hurts worse than being hurt.' " Sabo did remember. No matter how long he lives, he couldn't imagine anything striking him the same way a mummified Luffy had when screaming that he was fine with torture as long as someone would be his friend.

"You made a promise you can't keep. The only way you could keep it would be to outlive Luffy and we both know: you have no reason to live if that happens." Sabo stared him down and hoped, in a useless corner of the bottom of his heart, that maybe Ace will contradict him; say that he found more to live for after all this time.

He didn't even try to deny it, attempting to glare Sabo into submission. Ace knew he was messed up, hanging his entire existence on someone he couldn't possibly keep safe but to the broken, angry child he'd been before meeting Luffy there was no question that a world without him was a world Ace wasn't willing to live in.

Fucking damnit! Sabo slammed a hand against the table, indenting it. "Ace! It's been ten fucking years! Seven of which you spent with Luffy! Two years that you've been with Whitebeard, a crew famous for calling each other family! Your life has worth you brainless idiot and you can't hang your entire existence on Luffy's love for you!"

"Like you know anything!?" Ace stood up just to put a bit of distance between them, fists balled. "You don't get to fucking come back and decide my priorities for me! You forgot! You built a new life and moved on but for me, all I've ever had is Luffy and –!" He wasn't going to say it. Ace has avoided talking about him even more than he avoided Shitty Gramps. The memorial on his arm burned even as he stared his long lost brother down.

Sabo stood, cold anger tensing his muscles. "You think that because I forgot I don't care anymore? You think that now that I found you, I could ever be ok if I lost you again?"

"You moved on once already." Ace knew his words would hurt but he wouldn't back down. Even though they hadn't said as much, it was clear that after they reunited with Luffy (and yes, they were going to see Luffy) Sabo was going to return to his life with the Revolutionary Army and Ace would go back to his hunt for Blackbeard.

Sabo glared to cover up his pain. "Do you think that it was easy?" Ace watched his brother, muscles tensing and relaxing as he forced slow, steady words that hurt them both through a clenched jaw. "I had no clue about anything except for a name, a hat, and a loathing for the people who gave birth to me. I didn't know if I knew how to read and write, if I knew how to patch up wounds or if I could defend myself in a fight. I spent a month confined to a bed as my body screamed in agony with every twitch. I spent three months worrying that my vision may not come back in my left eye and the five months after that struggling to retrain my body just to walk, run, and finally: fight."

Sabo's furious eyes burn into Ace. "And what do I find? I pick up a pipe and start swinging it around like I've been doing it for years. But how does a noble know how to fight, yet alone with such a low class weapon? The reading and writing weren't a surprise but the mandolin sure as hell was. Instinctually patching up a scraped knee and knowing that it would take only a good night's rest to be back to my best was unsettling. And the whole time there's nothing but a white void where my memories should be: a blank slate mocking me with everything that made me who I was but I could never know.

"What other choice do you think I had? I knew that nobles had done this to me and that I was ashamed of being born one. I didn't want to go anywhere near the kingdom that so easily disregarded human life and with no sign that anything good was waiting for me, why would I ever go near it? So I embraced the revolution. A cause that felt right. The people who saved me. Yeah, I moved on. Because anything was better than staring at the empty void of who I might have once been."

They stare each other down, neither willing to give ground and both stung by the awful truths that divide them.

Sabo gave ground first. Ace would never say it, never admit he was ashamed, especially when he was still hurt so Sabo decided to cement exactly where he stood. "Ace, I moved on because it was either make something of myself or wither away. And now that void is full. I have something I came running back to, abandoning my responsibilities, because I have spent the last ten years sure that whatever my life had been, it was something worth dying to get away from. But instead, it was you. It was you and Luffy and the best days of my entire life. I will stand by you, no matter what, and if I have to throw away everything I've built to hold onto you for one day more, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Don't _ever_ say I could move on from you and don't you _ever_ act like you haven't built a life for yourself too."

With that, Sabo stalked out on deck giving them both room to think.

He'd just declared that if it's in the interest of his brothers, he'd become a traitor to the revolution. The people that took him in and that he'd dedicated his life to. The organization that had just made him a general in their army. Dragon would hear about this and Sabo would surely face consequences but, he wouldn't take it back. He'd meant it, from the bottom of his heart. He'd done wrong by his brothers for _years_ , the first people to truly love him and show him what life was supposed to be and how he could have a place in it. Even if he had to abandon everything he'd become, there were no lengths he wouldn't go to to save the two boys who had saved him from himself.

Ace on the other hand was losing the battle against his self esteem. He stood rigidly in the galley, unable to process the world around him.

He was such a fool. As soon as Sabo found out he had something worth coming back to, he'd _run_ to find his memories and find Ace. He imagined, just for a moment, what it would have been like to lose his memories and just as quickly shuddered away from the idea. Not knowing Luffy and Sabo, not knowing Shitty Gramps and Dadan, not knowing anything but his name and that he hates his father–

No. He couldn't blame Sabo and saying that Sabo didn't care, when he so clearly did, was just another one of Ace's monumental fuck-ups because he never considered that other people could hurt too.

Ace was a mess. He was a useless pile of crap who couldn't deal with his emotions and constantly hurt the people around him. But people still loved him and forgave him. People a thousand times better than him who accepted him for everything he was. Luffy. Precious, unwavering, completely undeserved Luffy. And Sabo, who had come as soon as he could and was right about everything; the first person who hadn't cared in the least about his heritage and saved his worthless ass more times than Luffy had punched himself in the face.

Pops. Ace had found and embraced a father figure, devoting his life to the cause _he_ believed in. How could he fault Sabo for doing the same? After the reunion with Luffy, Sabo would go back to the revolution and Ace would go back to hunting down Teach. Was there ever really a question about what would happen? He would always put his brothers first, even over Pops' life, but there was no denying that he had moved on and found a new home.

Heaving a deep sigh, Ace squared his shoulders and went to make things right. Sabo had apologized for being gone, it was Ace's turn to apologize for being a useless ass.

Turning towards the door, he noticed that the revolutionaries had made their way into the kitchen, quietly doing dishes. Shit. They had heard everything. Why did Ace have to mess up everything he touched? Except Luffy. Somehow, by a series of pure miracles, Luffy had come out ok. Or maybe it was just Luffy's resilience canceling Ace's curse.

He wouldn't even be capable of living if he had fucked up Luffy.

He found Sabo on the stern gazing out at the ocean.

"I'm sorry." He stepped up to lean on the railing next to his brother.

"For being a self serving cunt who's so hung up on your own angst that you can't consider another person's feelings or for being a blind hypocrite and, again, not being able to consider anyone else's feelings?" His voice was crisp and polite, dancing on the edge of patronizing noble and closed off best friend.

Ace internally flinched. Yeah, he'd messed up big time. "For all of it. I'm sorry. I'm an emotionally constipated child who never figured out how to do anything outside of fight and push others away."

"For the love of…" Sabo pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes closed and chin slightly tucked. "Ace, you're always like this." He took a deep breath and lowered his hand, continuing to gaze at the ocean. "Ace, you need to understand that me, Luffy, Whitebeard… we all see something in you. We don't see your father or someone who constantly needs to prove himself; we just see Ace and that's enough. The _problem_ is that you don't let others in. How did you spend seven years with Luffy and not figure out that just being 'Ace' is good enough?"

"…because Luffy is an idiot who doesn't know any better?" This is not territory he wanted to get into. Luffy was an exception to the world at large and Ace thanked every deity he never believed in for giving him such an undeserved miracle.

Sabo heaved a sigh and finally turned his head to look at Ace. "Just because Luffy is an idiot doesn't mean he isn't right."

Ace didn't answer, letting the idea turn in his head. Sabo, Luffy, Pops, Marco, _Thatch_ … they were all people who knew how Ace was, stubborn and angry and impulsive. But they stuck by him anyway, welcomed him and called him family. Although…

"If it takes an idiot like Luffy to love me, does that mean you're an idiot too?" There was a slight taunt to his words in an attempt to sound teasing but Sabo could hear the truth: he was looking for reassurance and a lighter line of conversation.

Sabo granted it. "I must be since I call you brother."

They stood in companionable silence, taking in the early blue-grey swells. There was a lot to talk about and a lot of issues that need to be dealt with but for right now…

"You realize you just called Whitebeard an idiot, right?"

"Huh, I guess I did. Don't tell Pops I said that."

"Tell one of the four emperors that his son considers him a moron? I wouldn't dream of it."

Ace side-eyed him. "Why do I feel like that's a promise _to_ tell him?"

Sabo simply smirked and left his brother to wonder.

Huffing, Ace took a seat on the banister with his legs over the ocean. "Sooo… the suit?"

Oh? A game was it? Sabo copied his brother on the rail, enjoying the sea breeze. "It always felt like a good way to mock the nobility. I made sure to wear blue just so you could recognize me." Ace elbowed his arm in a silent 'I'm not that bad.' "Sooo… the tattoo?"

Ace lit up brighter than Sabo had ever seen, small licks of flame dancing across his cheeks. Adorable. Sabo should really get a camera. "Sh- shut up! Luffy had his own way of dealing with things and I had mine, ok? When it came time for me to get my tattoo, I knew I wanted my name so that everyone would know who I was, who had defeated them. At the last minute, I decided to put in your pirate flag. Luffy wanted to write things down for you but I… I decided to carry you in writing." Oh that was just tooth rottingly sweet. Sabo wouldn't make fun of it himself but, if he let it slip to certain people and they decided to tease him, well, Sabo clearly couldn't be held responsible. "Sooo… the pipe?"

He smiled. "Like I said, it just felt right and with a low class weapon in the hands of a former noble, it seemed like a good taunt."

"You really like giving them the middle finger, don't you?" Ace surmised.

Sabo's smile grew in relish. "Unbelievably. Sooo…" Sabo turned more serious, needing answers to what had been plaguing him almost constantly since he'd received the letter. "The bear?"

His shoulders hunched and Sabo could feel his brother's need to run away. But he didn't. "I… after I made my promise to Luffy, he got better. He started eating, taking care of himself… but he was so clingy. More than ever before – I couldn't even take a shit by myself! So I chased him off." Ace gripped the rail hard enough to make it groan then backed off. "I just wanted some space. When Luffy hadn't come back by dinner… I beat up the bear and Luffy is fine."

Sabo wanted to hit Ace, to call him an idiot. But Ace already understood exactly how monumentally he'd fucked up so Sabo let it go. "Sooo…" It wasn't his turn but Sabo knew a great way to lighten the mood. "You buried my clothes?"

Ace ducked his head. "Yeah, well, we didn't really have a body and it was supposed to bring closure or some shit…" It was as funny as it was heartbreaking. The image of Ace gathering a pile of Sabo's old clothes, burying them as a placeholder… Sabo considered for a moment how he would have handled the situation and settled on being touched. It was a nice (if strange) gesture. "Sooo… Koala?"

"Koala?" Out of all the things Sabo expected him to ask, that was at the bottom of the list. He peered at his brother's face. Was that…? Was he…? Sabo burst into laughter. "You're jealous!"

"N- No I'm not! I'm just curious!"

"Ahahaha! Oh, this is brilliant. I never noticed when we were kids because it was only the three of us, but you're the jealous sort, aren't you?" He nudged Ace until his elbow was knocked away. "In any case, Koala is my best friend and my partner on missions. She calls it babysitting but she's just being over dramatic. I can take care of myself. There's no need to be jealous. You'll always be my second favorite person in the world, behind Luffy of course." He'd amended his statement as Ace looked ready to protest but, hearing their little brother's name, he stopped, considered, and nodded agreeably. "Sooo… how'd you go from trying to kill Whitebeard to being one of his sons?"

"I honestly don't know. I kept trying to kill him and in return I was treated with kindness and respect. It was infuriating – like I wasn't even a threat! Eventually I just… wore down." He shrugged absently. He wasn't willing to say that he'd been looking for a home and Sabo wasn't about to drag any more deep emotional trauma to the surface, especially over something he already understood.

"So it's just like Luffy?"

"What?! No it's not! Luffy needed me and never even considered me a bad guy!"

"But you kept trying to kill him and he insisted on being your friend anyway. I'm starting to feel like I'm the odd one out – if you make all your friends by trying to kill them, does that mean you like me more?"

Ace glared. "It means I hadn't realized what an annoying bastard you were yet. But if you want me to try…" He held up a flaming fist and Sabo laughed.

"No thanks. I'm just glad you hadn't worked out your patented 'make friends procedure' yet." Ace would've really killed him and even if he didn't, Sabo sure as hell wouldn't have chased after a wild monster boy who'd beat him up no matter how desperate he was for friends.

Pink tinted the dreaded pirate's face yet again. Sabo _needed_ that camera. Now. "Shut up Sabo. It's not my fault the world is full of idiots."

"Like you?"

"Like me." He responded without thinking. When realization came, he relit his fist. "You son of a bitch!"

Sabo jumped back onto the deck and danced away. "Yes, but I've been disowned so I'm not sure it matters." This fight was better. More playful and less hurt – just a pair of brothers goading each other into a childish tussle.

The reunion hadn't gone quite as Sabo wanted and there would probably be more arguments on the way but there was no doubt in Sabo's mind that it was all worth it.

* * *

 _ **Shameless plug:**_ **I wrote an au in which 11 year old Sabo runs into a survivor of Grey Terminal and learns he has brothers. It's called 'From the Trash Heap' and I'd love for people to check it out. I'm really proud of how it came out.**

 _Fun fact: every chapter of this has been longer than the last. I don't think I can keep it up._

 _This chapter… was a mixed bag. I actually got the first five thousand words (the end of their little fist fight) written the day after I posted chapter 5 but the rest…_

 _Ace was stuck in emotional turmoil and didn't want to continue the scene and when I finally did get things rolling again they had another fight. T^T_

 _I think there's a lot that needs to be talked about but this whole chapter feels very exposition-y._ _I'm not really satisfied with it but I made a promise to myself to finish this already._

 _*dogeza* I humbly beg forgiveness and promise to deliver better content in the future._

 _Please review. I need to know how to improve for future chapters and stories and would love to hear your opinions on the stupid brothers' reunion._


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